human [c. soon]

☹ zero

❝and despite everything i'm still human - but i think i'm dying here❞

☹ ☹ ☹ ☹

2:13 am

this is the story of sam evans, who was the sort of tired that sleep couldn't fix.

he was huddled up in the darkness in a corner of his room, curled up on his the floor as he tried (and failed) to breathe properly due to the extreme hyperventilating he had been doing. his chest felt so so heavy - like someone was holding his heart in their hands and squeezing it slowly, crushing his lungs and making it very hard to breathe.

he didn't understand what has happening, he felt angry and upset and sad and confused and frustrated and everything else in between.

but most of all, he felt terrified.

he felt overcome by this weird, foreign, heavy feeling of sadness. he knew it would pass, (logically, it had to) but suddenly he was crying and shit, since when did he start to cry? why hadn't he realized that?

he was just so tired. it almost seemed like nothing was worth fighting for anymore - what was the point of fighting a losing battle, anyway?

his parents told him he was adopted - and they spent more attention to jacob, his younger brother, who was the perfect child and it made sam feel very small. people talked shit about him at school and he didn’t even know why, what he did wrong, but he was fucking tired of people treating him like he had no feelings at all.

he was so fucking tired.

☹ ☹ ☹ ☹

[prequel to 'this is for sam' - but can be read separately! massive trigger warning]

dedicated to @conjure because she literally voted for this five seconds after it was posted and it made me so so happy x