Chapter 61: Alright

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My heart was racing uncontrollably as I stepped through the sliding doors of the hospital. I swear, if Levi and I weren't on such bad terms, I would've gripped his hand until it fell off.

Levi quickly asked the front desk for Erwin's room number, and rushed away as soon as he got it. I followed him silently, a combination of guilt and anxiety stabbing through me.

What if I was the cause of Erwin ending up like this?

If I hadn't argued with him, would he still be here?

Perhaps I shouldn't have called him out to talk to me.

Has he been sick this whole time?

Was I too blind to notice him suffering all this time?

What if he dies because of me--

"Oy."

Levi snapped his fingers in front of my face, making me jerk in surprise. I looked around, slightly shocked.

I didn't even realize we were in a lift.

"What the hell are you thinking so much about?"

I looked down, frowning. I know I should still be mad at him for everything, but I just couldn't help it.

"What if... I was the one that caused all this?" I choked out, feeling a strong wave of guilt overcome me.

"What if Erwin dies because of--"

I stopped abruptly, a hand covering my mouth. My eyes flickered to Levi, who was staring intensely at me.

"Stop saying nonsense. Calm down." His voice was soft, unlike the way he had been briefly talking to me for the past few weeks.

The lift bell rang and the doors slid open. Levi retracted his hand and gently pushed me out of the small room, with him right beside me.

He left my side as we were nearing the room and walked ahead of me.

This is stupid. All my feelings are mixed up. I don't know what to feel anymore.

The raven knocked on the door and stepped back, waiting for an answer. Not long, the door opened and all of a sudden, all my anger from before decided to return.

Mr. Hannes quietly let us in, and I was giving it my all not to slam his head into the door as I passed him.

I shook my head, fighting back the rising flame. No. No violence. Erwin is sick, I need to be there for him.

Annie was sitting on the chair beside the patient's bed. Her head was hung low, her hands neatly resting on her lap.

I made my way over to her, giving a soft tap on her shoulder. "Hey."

The blonde girl cracked a small smile as her sleepy blue eyes met mine. "Hello (Y/N)."

"How is he?" I asked, glancing over at Erwin. His eyes were closed and there was an oxygen tube on him. There were also extra pillows beneath his neck.

"He's resting right now. The doctor checked him and gave some medicine earlier," Annie sighed out, lowering her head again.

"Is he... okay?" I asked nervously. Annie nodded. "The doctor said it wasn't all too bad. He'll come back here to explain to us the full diagnosis. So we've just been waiting."

I stood beside Annie, staring down at Erwin's chest rising and falling. I was going to hold his hand when I realised there was an IV attached to him.

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