The English New Girl And The American Bad boy(Book 1)

13. Finding out the truth

Jacks p.o.v:

I had a lump in my throat I could not swallow. 

She quickly pulled her arm away once she noticed me stare. I stood still in silence but as soon as I went to walk towards her she ran upstairs. I went after her saying her name, she was about to lock herself in her bedroom but I managed to put my foot in the way.

"You don't need to run Lola" I whispered holding her shoulders, she was about to say something but slipped down the wall crying, sobbing.

Fuck. This broke my heart, I had a pain in my chest as I stared at her head in her hands. 

I knew she had some struggles but never did it cross my mind she took it out on herself like this.

I knelt down in-front of her and took her hands in mine "you're going to be ok, I will be here to help you" I whispered to her.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there but as she started to calm down I took her hands and led her to the bed so we sitting on the edge. She wiped her eyes and looked at me "I am so sorry" she mumbled "you have nothing to be sorry for Lola" I said tilting her chin up while she tried to flash a sad smile "you know you don't have to act ok around me I'm not going to judge you, I just want to help you" I looked into her eyes as I wiped her never ending tears. 

I held her hands in mine, moving her hair out of her face, "don't answer this if you don't want to, but why, why do you do it?" she sighed as I rubbed small circles on her hands "yes, sometimes other people say things, but honestly it is me, I am my own worst enemy" she said "when did you start?" I asked moving my hand on her thigh, I felt her jolt under me as I caressed her thigh "I was about 13 when I first done it, I did stop but it's like an addiction and when everything came crashing down it just seemed a norm, but I haven't done it since the first day of school. I was in a bad place, Parkers one little word just gave me a reason to punish myself. Fuck I hate how  pathetic I sound" she looked down at her lap "you know you can talk to me whenever, about anything, I'll always be there for you. I can't stand the thought of you thinking you deserve this. There is nothing pathetic Lola, don't think like that, please" she smiled, well tried to, before jumping to her feet, she looked so pale and exhausted "no one knows about it, please..." I cut her off "Lola, it can be another one of our secrets, but please just promise me babe, you come to me when you have these thoughts, the urge, I will be there for you anytime" I stood up pulling her into an embrace "I promise" she whispered.

"Do you want me to order some pizza, you have nothing in?" I asked standing up from her couch "I'm not really hungry" she replied "well I will order some and and make sure there is some for you" I reached for my phone, and gave her a little smile. 

I paid the delivery girl and she couldn't stop checking me out, only fair to give her a cheeky wink isn't it? "Wow" Lola muttered rolling her eyes "what? can't help it if I am irresistible" she shook her head as he giggled, seeing her smile creates this warm feeling I have never felt before "don't get jealous" I added "calm down, lover boy" I love her little sarcasm and whit.

I hate the thought of having to leave her, I just always want to be around her.

It was getting late but I needed to get some stuff from mine, it was a given that I was going to stay around again. I left hers quickly and I did try to get her to come with but she just wanted to relax and told me to 'chill, I can handle being alone for 40 minutes'.

Happy she can, because I sure as hell was struggling to be. 

Lola p.o.v:

Anxiety. Relief. Fear. Warmth. Anger. Protected. Terrified