What am I to you | Book 2

I am so sorry

Hey guys, I'm so so sorry about the lack of updates recently. I haven't talked to nearly anyone about this but I thought it'd best for me to inform you guys about the reason for my absence. Late December of 2017, someone very very close to me was diagnosed with cancer. I struggled with the fact that I couldn't help them and all I could do was hope for the best. I felt hopeless, I couldn't help ease their pain, I couldn't cure them, I felt useless. I faked a smile, I thought that if I was always smiling around them, that it would distract them from reality and that maybe faking happiness, would make me happy. It worked to some extent. I was still recovering from bullying early that year which didn't help the situation at all and the second I was alone with my thoughts, the negative thoughts came back. In September of 2018, her time came to an end, I felt so miserable, I wished everyday that we could've switched places. I didn't want to be seen, I wanted to be left alone. I had officially fallen apart.
As cliche as it sounds, BTS yet again helped me through the hardest part of my life. My family and friends helped me as much as they psychically could, but in the end only I could get myself out of the dark whole I had used as my safety blanket. BTS were the first stepping stone in my path towards recovery.
I haven't fully recovered, but I have recovered enough to start writing again. I'm happier. And it's true happiness not fake. I've had the break I've needed and I promise I'll be more regular with the posts.

I am going to read over my book again and get familiar with it again and I'll post Wednesday next week. I'm thinking of posting either once a week on Wednesday (but the chapter being roughly 1,000 words) or on Monday and Wednesday (but have the chapters around 400 words)
Leave your opinion in the comments.

You have no idea how much appreciate your patience. Love you guys 💜