"wheres your lunch isabell? or would me rather you call you izzy?" i actually didnt really know what i wanted him to call me. isabell was too long and awkward, but we hadnt known each other long enough for him to call me izzy. "i guess izzy is fine.... but yeah im not really hungry." you should probably know that i have an eating disorder, which explains my lack of food. "and why are you wearing a jumper? its freaking boiling outside!" you should also probably know that i have depression, so the jumper is to hide my scars and fresh cuts. "uhhhhh..... i dont know. i feel kinda sick and i feel cold i guess..." there i go again with my lying. well, i mean, i cant really tell him the truth, but i kinda feel bad about lying. "are you ok izzy? maybe you should go to the office." he had a concerned look on his skinny face. hes actually quite attractive... i thought to myself. "nah im fine. thanks anyway though."
my mum told me to walk home today, and for once i obeyed her. but now it seems like a bad idea because im really lost. i didnt want to ring mum because i only ring her when its an emergencey, because she's not supposed to answer her phone during work. i was about to sit down and call her when a car drove past. normally i wouldnt care, but this was different. the car was full of drunk teenagers, and they yelled out to me. the words would probably scar me for life..... one of the guys in the back seat screamed the words "HEY! FAT WHORE! DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND GO KILL YOURSELF BITCH!!! YOUR UGLY AS SHIT FACE IS BURNING MY FUCKING EYES!" they all started chanting "KILL YOURSELF! KILL YOURSELF! KILL YOURSELF! KILL YOURSELF!" and then drove away. i started crying. it wasnt really because of what they said. it was more to do with the fact that its true. i am fat, i am ugly. but most of, i am so close.... so very close to killing myself.
i ended up calling mum, leaving out the part about the teenagers. she picked me up and dropped me home, then returned to her work. i decided to make the most of the hour i had a home without her. i went upstairs to my room, retrieved my blade, and started to cut my arm. now, im a very cautious person, so i place them in good spots, where no one can see them. i cut them deeper than usual. which means there was more blood. i had to run to the bathroom to get toilet paper, being careful not to let the blood drop towards the carpet. once i had finished cutting my already scard arm, i did some exercise. i mean extreme exercise. also more than usual, to try and burn off any unwanted fat. when i had finished that, i had a shower and went to bed early, so that my mum couldnt force me to eat dinner.
i woke to the sound of an opening window. i could see a figure climbing through the open gap that was supposed to be a closed window. the breeze coming into my room was chilly. at first i was scared, untill i relized who it was. i was still scared when the familiar face came into view, but i did relax a little. Troye. Troye was entering my house through my bedroom window. "what the hell troye! you cant just break into my house!" i half wispered to him. " sorry izzy, i just wanted to see you...." ok now i was confused. was he going insane? "troye what are you talking about? and how do you know where i live?" shit. "uhhhhhh...... sorry.....i kinda looked at a couple files.... im so sorry, its just.....i was worried about you." he replied. jesus this is weird. "why would you be worried about me? we only met today and you dont even know me" at that moment i started feeling strange. then, all i could see was black.
"izzy wake up!" the familar voice yelled at me. i openned my eyes, only to see that i was no longer in my bed, or my room. i screamed. i know it was a rational choice but it was all i felt that i could do. "where am i ?!" i started to panic, but a lady who ive never seen before tried to calm me down, which only made it worse. "its alright dear. your just in the hospital. its alright, im here." i knew that voice "mum? why am i at the hospital?" i started panicing again, but not quite as bad. "well izzy, your new friend, that for some unknown reason was in your room, started yelling whn you fainted. he called the police and ambulance, and they came and brang you here. the doctors have already run some tests so you can relax now hunny." vwhen sh said it she sounded kind of worried. as if hey found something bad..... "so can anyone tell me why i fainted, when i can go home and where troye is?" it was a nurse who spoke, she looked young actually. and quite pretty. "erm... miss robbinson, the doctors found that you fainted because of your lack of eating and loss of blood. you cannot go home untill you have recovered and are eating well. you also shoul not leav untill you have defeated you depression. and your friend that saved your life is out in the foyer.... we prevented him from visiting untill you woe up. would you liketo see him miss robbinson?" "no, but thank you." and then i snapped. all the information sunk in and i just snapped. "WAIT WHAT?! I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!! IM NOT WAITING UNTILL I 'RECOVER' FROM ANYTHING! ILL STAY THE NIGHT FINE, BUT IM FUCKING RETURNING HOME TOMORROW!!! YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME AND I FUCKING WISH TO GO HOME TOMORROW! IM NOT STAYING HERE IN THS FUCKING HELL HOLE! GET TROYE. HE WILL AGREE WITH ME."
After the nurses calmed me down, they said that they understand. and that i could go home the next day, as long as i agreed to take medication every night. of course, i agreed, but i wasnt too certain on it. last time i went on medication all i wanted to do was sleep. just sleep all day and night. anyway i said i would just as troye walked through the door.
