We'll Always Have Summer

Imagine

Seeing him standing there so vulnerable with so much hope and faith in his eyes was killing me it was all I had wanted to hear him say since I was 12 years old "I love you Belly" that's all I'd ever asked for in life, for Conrad Fisher to love me the way I loved him but why did he have to tell me now, the day before my wedding. The day before I was going to marry the other love of my life Jeremiah Fisher. When he asked me if I loved him too all I had to say was the truth. one word. Yes.  My heart was racing my mouth had gone all dry and he was stood there with so much hope in his eyes and all I wanted to say was yes all I needed to say was yes. "Yes I do love you". I could have made both our dreams come true but then I remembered .Jeremiah. How could I forget about Jeremiah but that was the power Conrad had over me, he had the ability to make me forget everyone important in my life but once I remembered Jeremiah I realised that I couldn't do that to him, I couldn't break his heart the way Conrad had done to me. So I lied. I looked at him with disgust and told him " No. I will never love you. What you and I had Is nothing compared to what me and Jeremiah have now. Don't you see you were just a crush you didn't mean anything" his face slackened when I said that and the hope died in his eyes and I instantly regretted what I said. I didn't mean any of it . I wish I never said it but I needed him to hate me and let me go for good and the only way to do that was to make him believe me. However when he did believe me I died inside too.

To this day I wonder what would have happened that night if I had told him the truth - that I did love him. I always wonder what we would have done. I sometimes imagine me in the wedding dress walking down the aisle to the wedding march and seeing  Jeremiah only Jeremiah but then I glance to the right and he's there in the plaid white shirt and khaki shorts I bought him and I realise that I'm making a mistake and I tell  Jeremiah that I'm sorry and I kiss him goodbye and hitch up my dress and run I just run and Conrad runs after me and I don't know what Jeremiah is doing but I guess he looks both devastated and angry and my brother just stands there in shock and my mum just shakes her head and Taylor starts to panic but it doesn't matter because I just carry on running. I run all the way back to the beach house and Conrad turns up and tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him too. I run upstairs and slip out of my wedding dress and throw on a plain white tee and some shorts and sneakers and I put my hair in a messy bun and I grab a bag and run down the stairs out onto the porch and there he is stood outside his car. I hand him my bag and he throws it inside the boot and he gets in the car and asks me " Are you sure" and I say "No" whilst slamming the door and we both laugh and drive away into our future hoping they'd forgive us one day.
That didn't happen though. I mean Jeremiah and I didn't get married but Conrad and I didn't run away either this instead we lived our lives and waited for fate to bring us back together and it did at my college graduation four years later.