A Girl in the Shadows

Chapter Twenty-Three

A tug of the arm. Harsh words flowing back and forth in the noise. I was far too drunk to realize what was happening. I found myself looking up at the spindles of lights spanning from side to side above Seventh Avenue. To me, they were like stars in a dreamy fantasy.

Tristan took his arm out from behind me, despite me cries for him not to. I tumbled backwards into a light post, which became my support. My hazy eyes focused on Ace and Tristan for a few seconds. The hands of my friend were buried deep in the pockets of his trench coat. I laughed and laughed, hard enough to draw their attention.

"You think this is funny?" Ace said, marching over. I kept laughing. "Knock it off."

"I'm sorry, I just...can't take you seriously in that ridiculous outfit," I said.

Ace's hand was above me, locked around the light post. I couldn't back away any further. My eyes went to Tristan, who was watching from a safe distance. That coward.

"I sat on a bus for two days to come here and save you, and this is what you do?" Ace said. "You ditched us."

"No I didn't," I said, trying to contain my laugher.

"You're in deep, deep shit, Talls."

"I'm fine."

"Of course you are. You—"

"Are far too close to me. Back up...please." I said. "How did you know I was here?"

"When it was midnight and you never showed. This was the first place I checked. You're not good at hiding." Ace sighed, lowered his hand, and took a step away. "I'm not wasting my time on you."

"No, no, don't say that. Don't say that, Ace." I shook my head. "I just needed some time to myself, you know?"

"At my expense? At Kai's? We're not sticking around until you make up your mind and decided that when it's convenient for you, you'll come back with us, but you've made up your mind."

"I have not."

"Talls, listen!" I was instantly sober. "You're homeless. You're being hunted, and what do you do? Go to the club, then go back to a dorm and bang some human kid dressed like Batman, that Kai told me all about." He lowered his voice. "Even I wouldn't do something as fucked up as that."

"Okay!" I covered my years. "What do you want from me?"

"Nothing. I just came to say goodbye," he said. "You clearly think you can do this without me."

He pivoted and started walking down the street. I called after him to get no response. The sidewalk was packed, and I could barely walk. Tears rolled down my cheeks as hollered after my friend, only to see the trench coat disappear amongst the crowd. I pushed and shoved farther down the street, eventually losing my balance and skinning my knees.

You deserve this. You deserve every last second of misery in your life. I told you to stay back. I told you to go make the right choice. Again, you never listen, Tali. Getting up was an impossible task. It was as if the weight of my mind kept me stuck to the gum-covered sidewalk. You'd be better off throwing yourself into the oncoming traffic. People walked past me on both sides. I looked behind me. Tristan isn't coming for you. You're nothing more than trash to him, now. You ruined his night. A person in drag stepped right over me with their high-heeled boots. Get up. You're in the way.