Fingers Crossed (Synacky)

Chapter Seven

The swollen sky burst forth suddenly, the air going from humid and dense, to soaking in minutes flat as it down poured. It was amazing to watch the Tokyo streets clear out, all the passersby retreated into their homes or a nearby store or restaurant. Zacky didn’t care. His shoes splashed on the sidewalk as he raced through the city.

And when he had calmed down, realized he didn’t so much like the rain anymore, he found himself alone in silence. The only sound was the rain and the occasional boom of thunder. Zacky was on a walkway with trees shrouding either side, and before him, was a shrine.

He stood outside of the decorative building, wondering if he should enter. A shrine was a holy place, what gave him the right to enter there? But lightning streaked and thunder crashed above him, and he decided that whatever deity this was for wouldn’t mind him taking shelter for a while.

He was afraid that the building would be locked, but the doors swung open on silent hinges as he pushed on them. They gave way to one huge, empty room. Lamps on the walls cast a soft, yellow glow over everything. At the far end of the room there was a statue of a huge man sitting on a throne. Zacky slowly crept further into the room, aware of the squelching noise of his wet shoes echoing on the intricate tile flooring.

His phone was ringing, obnoxiously loud in the still place, and without looking at it, Zacky reached into his pocket and turned it off.

So he stood in the room, feeling strange, like a trespasser in someone else’s home. He tried to avoid the domineering gaze of the man, which seemed to bore holes in his head. Eventually, he sighed, “Yes, I know, this is your house for people that practice your religion. But it’s storming out there, what did you expect me to do?”

The man didn’t reply. Zacky inched forward. He actually liked the fact that he could say whatever he wanted to someone, and all they could do was listen.

“I’m-I’m just stressed, okay? It’s difficult finding out you’re going to die. I-I mean… everyone will have to die one day, but to have a date so soon tacked to your back…” he sighed, running his hand over his face. “It just might make you start to talk to statues.”

There was a plaque by the man, about knee-height for him, eye level for Zacky. It contained only Japanese characters. It was another huge reminder that Zacky didn’t belong there.

“And Brian… god. I don’t know what to do about him. I want to tell him so bad, I’m tired of lying to him. I don’t think he trusts me anymore. I just want him to know the truth, and he can comfort me, and we’d all be happy. Except we wouldn’t be happy. That’s why I can’t tell him. I don’t want to break his heart like that.”

The man thought about this, but didn’t offer him any advice. Zacky sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I also don’t want him babying me, you know? After he got over the sadness, he’d probably want to spoon feed me applesauce so I can ‘conserve my strength.’ And that’s sweet of him, but I can handle myself. It’s weird, knowing that you’re dying, but you can’t feel a thing.” He chuckled softly to himself, “Brian, he’s got a good heart.”

He stayed with the statue man until the rain let up, and he had to admit, he felt better. Who knew talking to a statue could end up being so beneficial?

Zacky got a taxi, tried to explain to the driver which hotel he was at using Google Translate on his phone, and made it back to the hotel at around four in the morning. He hadn’t meant to spend so long at the shrine, he hoped that Brian wasn’t too furious with him.

He was surprised to find Brian pacing back and forth in the lobby. One hand was gripped in his hair, the other was holding his phone, “No, he’s not fucking here! I told you I’d call you!”

“Brian?” Zacky asked, and Brian whipped around. “Oh, Zacky! Thank fuck! He’s here Matt, tell the guys.” With that, he hung up, and Zacky was wrapped in his fiancé’s arms suddenly and without warning.

“Zacky what the hell, where have you been?” Brian’s voice was distressed as he kissed all over Zacky’s face. “I was so worried, fuck! You step outside to make a phone call and you fucking never come back? Shit, you could have been kidnapped! I thought- I thought something had happened to you!”

“What? I-I wasn’t gone very long…” Zacky looked up at Brian, “I’m sorry…”

“Well, when you just vanish for three hours in the heart of Tokyo, I think I have reason to be concerned. We all tried texting and calling you, what the hell happened?”

“I went for a walk… my phone, I turned it off.” Zacky realized how foolish he had been to do that. Of course the guys would be worried, he hadn’t let any of them know he was leaving, he’d just disappeared.

“Why?” Brian hugged Zacky tight, and Zacky buried his face in Brian’s neck. “Why in the world would you turn off your phone?”

“I-I… I don’t know.” Zacky offered weakly. How could he explain his experience? He went to a shrine and turned off his phone because he didn’t want to be disrespectful while he discussed his cancer with a statue? Surely not.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter, you’re here, you’re safe now. Don’t you ever do that to me again, okay? God, I was worried sick.”

So, he had to explain himself to the guys when they returned, before he could retire to his and Brian’s room and sleep. Which was all he wanted to do right now.

He stripped down to his boxers and slid into bed, feeling that wonderful, familiar sensation of Brian’s arms wrapping securely around him, pulling him close. He nestled up against Brian’s chest, kissing his jaw softly. “Thank you for worrying about me, Bribri. I really am sorry I didn’t let you know.”

Brian yawned, a sleepy half-smile on his face. “Don’t thank me for worrying, Zee. I always worry about you. Now, go to sleep. I am exhausted.”

“Me too.” Zacky was silent for a while. “And one more thing, Brian?”

“Mm?” Brian’s eyes were closed, but he was listening.

“The person on the phone… it-it was-“ come on, Zacky, be a man! “It was Fred.”

Dammit.

“Oh, that’s nice. What did he want?”

“He was telling me how Majesty and Icky are doing.” Zacky winced as he said this.

“How are they?”

“They miss their dads.” Zacky replied, and Brian’s lips quirked up slightly.

“Too bad they aren’t well behaved, or else they could have come.” Brian slipped his hand to Zacky’s head and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah.” Zacky replied with a chuckle. Fake, of course. He crossed his fingers behind his back for the lies he had told, and it made him feel a little better.

Brian yawned. “Good night, Zee.”

Zacky smiled, lips pressing to Brian’s cheek. “Good night, Bri.”

And even though fear and guilt ate steadily away at his insides, Zacky fell asleep.