Jennie managed to get a flight back to Seoul that night. She spent the time before, during and after the flight wavering between happiness and despair. Lisa loved her. She wasn't just a meal to her. She wasn't dead, didn't sleep in a coffin, and she loved her. All of these were wonderful, marvelous things. But to be with her, she had to be "turned," had to give up her family and friends or would have to ten years down the road. That was not marvelous.
Jennie considered everything. She thought perhaps she could be with her and not turn, but the idea of aging, her body and mind deteriorating while Lisa stayed strong and sharp-minded, was unbearable. She suspected she would stay with her if that was her choice, but the idea of her hands playing over her wrinkled, sagging flesh, and leaning her gray head against her strong, lean shoulder. No, she would never do that to them.
Of course, she could simply have an affair with Lisa, then break it off in ten or twenty years when people started mistaking her for her mother. But she could barely imagine walking away from her willingly now; doing so after loving and sharing her life with her for ten or twenty years would be impossible.
Which meant she had two options: allow her to turn her and give up everyone else she knew and loved in ten or twenty years, or walk away now, while she had the strength. Neither option seemed acceptable. Despite the distance that separated them since she left her hometown and moved to Seoul, she was very close to her family. Her mother and father often came to Seoul to attend plays or to shop, and they stayed with her. And her sisters made several trips a year to Seoul, to visit, shop and just generally hang out with her. They were her family, knew and loved her better than anyone. They had encouraged her dream to write, had thought her intention to be an editor in the city was admirable. They were her support, the foundation of her life. But to have Lisa, she would have to give them up. Or to have them, she'd have to give up Lisa.
Jennie hardly slept that night. In the morning, she showered, dressed and went out to catch the subway to YG. Her mind had been going in circles all night and she had yet to come up with an answer that would allow her to keep both Lisa and her family. It was making her crazy. She was desperate to get away from the concern for a bit, and hoped that some work would take her mind off of it.
Taehyung was in the office when she arrived. It wasn't surprising to Jennie; all of the other editors worked long hours and weekends. Taehyung, however, was terribly surprised to see her.
"I thought you'd be in Jeju right now, playing kissy-face with Lisa," she teased, but there was concern in his eyes as he saw how pale and weary she was. That concern was echoed in his solemn voice when she asked, "Was I wrong, then? Did she really just want to discuss a tour?"
Jennie shook her head and walked past him along the hall to her office. "You weren't wrong. We didn't discuss the tour at all."
"What did you discuss, then?" Taehyung asked, following her.
Jennie set her briefcase on her desk. She stared down at it silently. Then, instead of answering, she asked, "Taehyung, if you could live forever, would you?"
He gave a bark of laughter. "Shit, no! Live forever and have authors chasing me for eternity? Dear God, you'll give me nightmares."
Jennie smiled at the exaggerated horror on his face, but said, "I'm serious, V. Say you didn't have to deal with writers anymore. You could live somewhere else, with someone you love very much. You would have money, love, live forever and never age."
"What's the catch?" she asked with the cynicism she expected.
"The catch would be that, because you didn't age, you would have to give up your family and friends and disappear from their lives forever. To have your one passionate, almost all consuming love, you would eventually have to give up many people you love."
