Part 2

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PART TWO

Chapter 10

Elnaz Fikri stood looking out of her office window at the elm and linden trees that dotted the street outside. Her first patient of the day had just left and she was replaying the session in her mind.

The patient, Vivian, was a public relations manager who had taken a couple of years off work to raise her first child. On her return to the work place, she'd developed intense anxiety that she was no longer good enough at anything. She was convinced she was going to lose both her job and her boyfriend and her fears were becoming self-fulfilling prophecies. Elnaz had at one point drawn her a mind map diagram of her self-sabotage, peeling the note paper off from its seam and handing it to her as a takeaway.

Now that she found herself wondering if Vivian's case was a personal sign for her, she mentally projected another mind map onto the window pane: fear of becoming parent + human tendency for pattern recognition ------> seeing patient's problem after baby as a warning not to have one.

Elnaz had recently turned thirty-four and the subject of turning abstract future children into actual present ones had been raised by her husband, Taimour, soon after. This was understandable. She had told him herself when they married that she wanted two children. Plus, Taimour was now thirty-seven and a successful architect with a gathering inclination for the next step in life. She knew he felt ready. She just didn't know if she did. Or, if she even wanted children at all anymore.

She drew her attention back to the present moment and went through the breathe-and-release exercise she used after each patient's appointment. As she exhaled, she saw her next patient Nestor come into view outside. He had his back towards her as he lit up a cigarette and she couldn't help but smile - by scent alone, he was one part aftershave, three parts ashtray.

She moved away from the window, so he wouldn't notice her watching him and went out to speak to her receptionist, Deanna.

A nervous, disheveled young woman was sitting in her waiting room. She had what looked like a fresh bruise on her cheek and stared up at Elnaz when she opened the door.

Elnaz shot a questioning look at Deanna who had risen from her chair and was leaning across her desk.

"She's been here since your first patient," Deanna said in a low voice. "She says she's been driving all night just to see you."

"Did she tell you what happened to her face?"

"She won't tell me anything. Not even her name. I told her you have appointments all day, but she says she'll wait for whenever you can squeeze her in."

"I see."

The woman rose to her feet when Elnaz approached her.

"Hi, I'm Dr Fikri. My receptionist tells me you're keen to meet with me today."

"Do you know Dr Stephen Bradley?" the woman blurted before Elnaz could go any further.

Elnaz thought for a moment. "I don't recognize the name, no."

"What about Dr Myles Warren?"

"No, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

The woman hesitated.

"What's your name?" Elnaz tried instead.

"Lydia."

"Lydia, I'm afraid I don't see walk-ins. You have to make an appointment here. And I have appointments all day today."

"Can you see me in your break?"

Elnaz pursed her lips. "How did you hurt yourself?" She pointed at her own cheek.

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