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Words and actions are not enough to show how much I love him. Meeting him was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. But I am me. I would never be enough to someone, specially him. He deserves the world and I am just one of the waste of it.
However, he refused to have the world. He refused the things he really deserve and wanted to spend his life with someone who's broken and ugly.
I couldn't allow that. I'm sorry.
ー Lalisa M.
5 years later
I don't know if fate had really something against me but I saw you again after years of running away. I was trying to fix my life, preparing myself to be better than what I am but it was no used. I always go back to those ugly habits.
How can you smile at me so fondly like I am not some broken glass? Your smiles were always sincere and laughs genuinely. You treat me like I am no different with the other even if I knew myself I am one.
How can you loved someone like me? When I don't even have the slightest urge to love myself.
But that was before.
It's different now. Cause you already found the one. You already found someone you truly deserved and I should be happy. I should be happy but I'm not.
Why it is painful to see you with someone else, Jungkook? How can I be selfish when I don't even deserve a single bit of you.
Our eyes accidentally locked. However, it wasn't the same anymore. You used to see me with so much fondness but all I could see now, is the coldness in them.
I looked away and turned around as fast as I can before you could see my tears, flowing through my cheeks like a beads of unstoppable rain.
Who would've thought we would see each other again after five years in this same park where we first met ten years ago? I was only 15 that time and you were the same age as me.
We were so young. We still don't know how the world can be so cruel of us. We were so young and in love not until I slowly changed and broke the beautiful relationship between us.
"Lisa! Where have you been? Our boss is looking for you. Damn, girl. He's furious!" Roseanne my workmate, glared at me as she stomped her feet like a child. She's always been that spoiled rich brat but I like her, she's the only friend I have of course other than my stepsister, Jisoo.
"I'm sorry, I got lost. Why? Are we starting?"
"Gaddamnit! Yes we will start in 10 and you still look like— were you crying?" Roseanne suddenly changed the subject when she noticed my red puffy eyes.
"N-no?" I quickly denied and hide my eyes with my sunglasses.
"Shit. Here, have my eyedrops and go inside the tent to get your makeup done. I'll cover up for you." I catch the thing she throws at me as she pushed me away from our manager's sight.
Before I get inside the tent, I lift my hand and felt the beating thing inside my left chest. What were you thinking Lisa?
You almost ran to him. Almost breaking your illicit. Don't do something reckless. You've come so far in avoiding him. Keep walking to that path you deserve. Accept the freaking consequence of leaving him. Even if it cuts the air to your lungs and even if it kills you to see him with someone else.
