Forget Me, Forget Me Not [Jack Barakat & Alex Gaskarth|All Time Low] (one shot)

“I thought I loved you!”

“Yeah, I know, that's the problem. You thought about it. You don't love with your head, or even your eyes. You love with your heart. Listen to your heart. Does your heart say that you love me?”

“I don't know, I... Jack, you're my best friend.”

“Best friends don't have sex, Alex,” Jack replies coldly, “and more than once I might add.”

“I'm not gay!” Alex blurts out of frustration. 

“You don't feel it?” Jack whispers, curling his long fingers around Alex's slender wrist, “You don't feel the sparks when we kiss? You don't feel the warmth in your heart when I look at you like I do when you look at me? Why can't you... love me, Alex? What is wrong with me? Why can't you love me? Why can't anyone love me?”

Alex looks down at Jack's hand as his grip tightens slightly, “But I do love you, Jack. Just not in the way you want me to.”

Jack peels his fingers from around Alex's wrist, almost reluctantly as his voice grows softer, “That's not good enough for me, Alex. I don't believe you. I can't believe you when you say you don't love me.”

“Jack, I... We need to stop this. It's time for us to let go.”

“Or it’s time for you to go back to pretending to be someone you’re not.”

“It’s not my fault you were so eager to fuck me and be my little experiment! I warned you that there were probably going to be no feelings attached! The only person who’s pretending here is you!”

“Oh, really?” Jack replies snidely, his gaze set on Alex, “And what exactly is it that I’m pretending about, Alex? Am I making it up when I say you kissed back, every time? Am I dreaming when recall how badly you wanted me? Am I being delusional when I can remember the look in your eyes when I had you in the palm of my hand? Am I just bullshitting when I can remind you of that desperate, soft, little gasp you made the first time I touched you? Do you remember what you said? You said you loved me! And like the idiot I am, I believed you. I guess I should’ve believed the saying: ‘Everyone loves you when they’re about to come.’ I guess even my best friend, who I know feels it too, is no exception. What a waste of my fucking time.”

Out of habit, Alex takes Jack’s hand in his, completely unsure of what to say next. They stand in an awkward silence, looking at their joined hands.

“It’s gonna hurt so bad to let you go,” Alex whispers, his eyes closing slowly.

“See, there it is!” Jack exclaims, pulling his hand away from Alex’s, “You say shit like that then tell me that you don’t love me,” his voice is now soft, and pained; all traces of anger gone, “I can’t do this, Alex. Not anymore. I don’t think I can handle it.”

There’s a long silence, that is so heavy in the room, it’s nearly tangible, “When will I be able to see you again? I mean… just in general.”

“Don’t, Alex.”

“Don’t what? Want to be a part of your life? Want to see my best friend?”

“No, don’t remember me. It’s best that you just move on with your life.”

“What? No, I’m going to remember you. I could never forget you.”

“No, I don’t want you to remember me. I’m not worth the trouble. So, forget me, okay?” Jack says with an empty laugh, not daring to meet those sad, honey colored eyes.

“Jack, why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” Alex says, his eyes searching the face of the younger.

“Because I can’t do this anymore,” the younger whispers, still not meeting the eyes of the elder.