Head In The Clouds

2

3:45. I'm still thinking about Xio. Why did she lay her head on my shoulder? Why did she get worried when her friends saw? Why do I care?

Maybe this is just one big coma. All of it, I just hit my head to hard one day and this has all been fake. The past few days, months, years even. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow a broken kid in a hospital. Maybe I wont have to deal with all these thoughts.

5:40. My drawing is done. I think I'll give it to Xiomara tomorrow. I hope she likes it.

5:47. I wish I had focused today and done my work in school. I have so much God damn homework. I guess I'll just stay up a little late.

Who needs sleep when you have anxiety and the American school system?

7:46. I'm sooooooo boreddddd. Screw algebra I'm drawing. 7:47. I dont know what to draw. 7:48. I'll do my algebra now I guess... 9:23. All done with homework. I guess I have to go to bed on time tonight. I can hear my mom coming up the stairs, but if I look asleep she wont bother me.

I think I like Xiomara. Like, I like like her. I feel stupid saying that but I dont really have crushes ever. I have people who I think are cute and have decent personalities but I dont ever actually like them. It's weird that I would finally have a crush on Xiomara of all people.

Aesthetically shes my type ya, but shes so much happier than anyone I hang out with. Shes also probably straight, but besides that she just isn't a girl I would think would even notice me.

Shes so normal.

She has grade level classes and average grades and no one hates her. She probably doesnt even fight with her parents. 9:25. Its too late for this kind of thinking.

8:07. I didn't look at the clock at all this morning. I just got yelled at constantly. Maybe today will be ok, but probably not.

I handed Xiomara the drawing and I swear I've never seen someone so happy. Her eyes lit up and she smiled really big. Then she got up to show her friends. Most people do that so I wasnt shocked. The shock came when her friends seemed pissed off. She hasn't come back to sit with me. Bummer.

Maybe she'll come back in a little bit, or say hi between classes.

I hope so.