25 Days of Ambrollins

Day Twenty-Two - "I'll Be Home for Christmas" *ANGST*

 "I'll be home for Christmas

You can plan on me

Please have snow and mistletoe

And presents on the tree

Christmas Eve will find me

Where the lovelight gleams

I'll be home Christmas

If only in my dreams"

The song played in the empty dinner that Seth sat in. The time on his phone read sometime past midnight. Hell, it could be 2 in the morning, but all he knew was that it was late and he was drunk. He thought, maybe, just maybe, if he drank enough, the pain in his chest would stop. He knew better, though, he knew he did, but he did it all the same. He thought that if he consumed enough of the alcohol, he'd forget his betrayal. That may be, he'd wake up and it all would have been a dream. Dean would be asleep beside him in the bed, Roman would be fast asleep in the room right next door. The Shield would be the most dominant faction WWE has ever seen, the thought of betraying his best friends, and the man he loved, never so much as a thought of a thought in his mind.

But instead, here he was, Christmas Eve, drunk and all alone in this stupid, sad excuse for a diner. It was the closest thing open near the bar he'd attempted to drink away his pain in, so he slipped into a tattered up booth and ordered a black coffee. It only made him a bit soberer, and that was the last thing he wanted to be, but there was nowhere else to go and he was all out of alcohol at his swanky condo seeing as he drank it all the night before. Yeah, you could say Seth was in a bit of a funk.

"I should call him." Seth thought, looking at his phone that sat on the table, "I should just call him and apologize and everything will be alright. We can be The Shield again, Dean and I can be together like we were meant to be." He picked up the phone and unlocked it, his heart clenching at his phone background picture. He kept his phone very close to him, never letting anyone anywhere near it because if they looked at it for just a moment they'd know that his phone background was of him and Dean from when they first got together. He should change it, he knew he should, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

He stared back at the picture, the alcohol blurring his vision, but the hold that Dean's photographed eyes had on him cut him deep. They looked back at Seth, looking deep into Seth's damaged, blackened soul, and he could almost hear Dean: "Why, Seth? Why would you do this to us? To The Shield? To me? How could you be so selfish, how could you betray the one man you ever truly loved?"

Seth scoffed and threw down his phone, which was probably for the best. Sober Seth didn't know what to say to Dean to make any of this better, so why did drunk Seth think he knew any better? He just sat there, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular when the waitress working came over. "Sir," she said softly, "I called you a cab. It's waiting for you outside to take you home." She was silent for a second, "You look like you could use a good night's rest."

Seth gave a small laugh, "Sure could. But I'll never sleep soundly again, not when my bed is empty. It didn't use to be, it used to have him in it, laying right there next to me, but not anymore. I screwed it all up, I screwed it up and he'll never forgive me," Seth slurred. For a moment, he forgot he was talking to someone and not himself, "Sorry, what do you care? Thank you for the cab," he said. He pulled out his wallet and smacked down a ten, "Keep the change." He scooted out of the booth and grabbed up his phone, then made his way towards the door.

"Sir?" the waitress called. Seth turned to look at her, regretting his decision to spin around so abruptly. "I don't know what you did, but I'm sure it couldn't hurt to apologize anyway. He may not forgive you, but it's certainly a start," she said. Seth gave her a sad, small smile. Oh, if she only knew, but he nodded at her and then headed out into the cold air and into the taxi. He slurred his address to the cab driver and then let his head fall against the headrest.