Millimeter

II

Kerria stopped in the doorway of her office, her hand still in Logan's and he looked back.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked and Kerria looked back towards her desk as memories of her dad sitting in the chair, her and Derek tugging at his pants legs. He always lifted them up into his lap so that they could see what he was doing. Their mother coming with a tray of cookies that she brought from home. To lure them away from work and it always worked.
Tears once again slid down her cheeks and she couldn't help but whisper into the office. Hoping that her parents and Johnathan could hear her.

"Mamma, daddy, John, I miss you so much." She then walked out and into Logan's arms, Logan closed the door and led her down the hall towards the garage.
"I want to stop by Derek's quarters to see him."
"Kerria, he's probably drunk off his ass,"
"I still need to see him, even if he is." Kerria took a deep breath and stared at Logan, he saw the love that she held for her twin. He understood that and he wouldn't be the one to keep her from him.
"Alright but he says something that upsets you and I'm clocking him in the chin." Logan said and Kerria giggled and leaned on him, her smile giving Logan's heart a small lift of hope.

A few minutes later and they were standing outside Derek's door. Kerria knocked and prayed that he was sober for once.
"Who is it?" Derek's voice sounded from the other side of the door, it sounded a little rough but sober, thank the stars.
"It's me" Kerria called and she heard footsteps coming towards the door. It opened to revel her very sober twin, every woman in the compound swooned at the sight of him. She had her far share if men oogling at her as well. Their family was blessed with good genes

"Little sister"
"Shut up, I was born five minutes before you."
"So, I came out head first not butt first sister dear."
"Whatever, brother mine" Kerria said with a smile and Derek placed his hand on the back of her head.
"God, you look so much like mom when you smile,"
"You look like dad, even your eyes crinkle at the corners like his did when he smiled. How are you holding up?" Kerria asked and Derek's hand fell from the back of her head.

"Wishing that I could do everything fucking different, can't keep swimming in the bottom of a whiskey bottle though. My problems are still there just attacking you when I'm drunk, gotta pull my head out of my ass and be a brother to you. God I'm so sorry that I wasn't with you when they brought Johnathan home." Derek said as he backed up and put his hands to his head.

"God damnit! Why the hell did he have to go and be all heroic?! He didn't have to push me out of the way, I-I could've gotten out of the way in time!" Derek exclaimed and Kerria grabbed his hands and pulled him into a hug.
"Hey, shhhh, Johnathan was always protective of us, he took it upon himself to be our protector the day we took our first breaths. No one could tell him otherwise," tears formed in Kerria's eyes. She willed them away as she pulled Derek's head from her shoulder, looking Derek in the eyes.

"You hear me now Derek Kane, my sweet brother, you are not at fault Johnathan saved you because he somehow knew that if he didn't. I would be the only one left and I would have to bury both of you. And by God I wouldn't have survived that, I'm barely surviving now. We are the only ones left of mom and dad, we have to stay strong for them ok? I love you so much," Kerria said and kissed him on the forehead.

"Go to sleep, I'm headed home, you're more than welcome to come stay there instead of here at the HQ." Kerria said and Derek patted her shoulder.
"I know that I am and I'm sorry,"
"Sorry for what? Being human? Never apologize for being in pain or missing them. I miss them too and we'll get along in life knowing their still with us, sleep well Dj." Kerria hugged Derek again and he hugged her back,
"You too sis, love ya" Derek said and Kerria kissed his cheek. Then walked to the door and he watched his twin, the only sibling that he had left, walk down the hall away from him. He had an op and a funeral to get prepared for, and as much as it would suck he would have to be sober for the last one.

************

Logan watched as Kerria woke up slowly, she stretched, a smile on her beautiful face. She turned into his body heat, stilled and breathed in deeply. Logan watched as the peace that sleep gave her slowly slide away as she came back to consciousness. Confusion marred her features, then her face went smooth like a mask. The only thing that gave her away was the tears silently slid out from behind closed long eyelashes. The mask and the tears hit Logan square in the chest. She was his world and he couldn't shield her from this pain that haunted her every waking moment.

Kerria sat up, slid to the end of the bed, stood up and walked to the bathroom. She closed the door, the way that she moved had Logan on edge, she hadn't had an emotional outburst to let the pain out throughout everything that happened. He knew it was coming he just didn't know when.

Kerria looked in the mirror at her reflection, series of memories of her mother, father, and brothers flashed through her mind. Tears started falling down her cheeks rapidly and her face scrunched up as the sadness and pain welled up inside of her and she started to sob.
I didn't get to say goodbye
Without meaning to she breathed in, balled up her fist and scram as she punched the mirror full force.

Logan, trying to think of ways to help her cope nearly jumped out of his skin when the blood curdling scream with the sound of glass breaking filled the air. Logan was out of bed and trying to open the bathroom door mere seconds.
"Kerria! Open the door!!"
"No, I'm safe in here, I won't lose anything in here." Her voice was small and fragile,

"Kerria, please open the door, you haven't lost me or Derek."
"I'm all alone"
"Babe, you're not all alone"
"I want my dad, my mom, I miss them so much, if I had them I could cope with loosing Johnathan. But I don't, I only have Derek and I'm slowly losing him too." Kerria sobbed,
"Baby, please, this is breaking my heart. Open the door I want to hold you." Logan laid his head on the door, he heard the lock click and the door open.

The scene that he was looking at was one that could top the ones that he had seen on the battlefield. His beloved Kerria was pale, her eyes lost the luster for life. And has he looked down at her hand noticing the shards of the mirror still in her knuckles and blood dripping from the wounds. His world came crashing down around him, he was on the brink loosing her.

"I'm tired," Kerria said then collapsed, Logan caught her, his training kicking in as he scooped her in his arms. He carried her to the bed and then pulled out his medical kit. He grabbed his cellphone off the nightstand, he knew of a person he could call to help Kerria through this difficult time.

"Yes, hello, I'd like to talk Dr. Cohnen please.