Not Just Another Girl

Chapter Eight // The Fallout

September 1, 2012 // Doncaster, England

"You said you loved me," I say, dangerously close to tears.

"Rory," Harry says, placing his hands on my arms. "I do love you."

I scoff, turning away from him. We're standing outside in the courtyard of our apartment. The sun just set, but the heat of the day is still sticking around. I can't believe this is happening.

"This whole time I thought nothing could come between you and I."

"Not even the gods above, Ror," Harry says. I whip around to look at him again with my arms crossed in front of my chest.

"Then why are you doing this?" I practically scream. I see a flash of movement in the window above us, our apartment's living room window, and I have a feeling someone is watching us. Harry sighs.

"I want what's best for you. We're going on a world tour, Rory. I'm not going to be back in England for another eight months. I'm not going to ask you to wait around for me. That's not fair to you."

"I can come visit."

"How many times did you see Louis last year?"

I hesitate. "...Twice."

"And he's your brother."

"But it's different now, Harry. I'm going to be done with secondary school after this year and then I can just go on tour with you full time."

I am trying so hard to be calm, but all I want to do is scream or cry or both. Controlling my emotions has never been my strong suit.

"You're going to go to uni, Ror," Harry says, running his fingers through his hair. 

"I don't have to." 

"I'm not going to be the reason you don't go to university."

"This isn't all about you, Harry."

"I just don't want you to have to sit around waiting for me. I don't want you to miss out on any experiences because you're waiting for me to come home."

"I don't mind waiting," I say. Harry comes closer to me, brushing a tear off my cheek.

"I can't and won't ask you to do that," he says softly. "Now you can date other boys your own age."

"I don't want other boys," I scoff. "I want you!"

I'm on the verge of begging now. I feel like the ground is getting ripped out from underneath me.

"I want you too."

"You say that, but you're still dumping me right now," I bite back. I'm full on crying now.

"Do you think this is easy for me? It's not, but I know it's for the best, deep down you know it's for the best too," Harry says. He looks like he's in pain.

"Remember what you told me after you found Izzy's postcard?" I ask him. He just shakes his head.

"If you really love someone, you don't break their heart," I repeat back to him.

"Rory, I'm so sorry," he says, and he's also crying now. I know he has more to say, but I don't let him.

"Can you go now?" I ask him.

"Rory..." he says softly, but I turn away from him because I don't want him to see how badly I'm crying.

"Please, Harry," I say. He hesitates a moment before I hear his footsteps walk away.