You're Not Alone

I have to get out of this town.
It's plagued with nothing but vile, poisonous bad memories. My parents have been no help, casting me out after 17 long years of painful ridicule and neglect to pain within their child so plain fir them to see. It's all due to what has happen, the cages I have been stuffed into, the roles I was forced to play. I was useless, pathetic, not worth everyone else's time. I was turned inside out into something I wasn't, and changed beyond recognition. I was no longer the boy I once was.
That's how I found myself on this cold muddle road, mere minutes until I reached the train station, my only ticket out of this town. This hell. Thus nightmare.
Suddenly, something caught my eye. It was a scrawny kid I knew from school, Morgan Smith, sitting on a deserted bench. He was the only person who noticed when I came back from them, forever chanced. He didn't call me bastard or monster just Summers. Which was fitting.
"Smith." I spoke without thinking.
"Summers." He looked up from his hands. "What are you doing out so late?"
"I'm going to family." That wasn't a lie. I didn't lie, I wasn't like those wenches who lied and destroyed everyone in their path. "And you are?"
"Running away." I was a little taken aback at how normally he said it. Like it was as simple as going for a walk, or chopping wood.
"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.
"I don't belong there anymore." He whispered.
I gave him one last look, but shrugged it off. It wasn't exactly my problem. However, I couldn't help but look back once I was a few steps away from where he was sitting. And, as soon as I did, I instantly regretted it. Morgan was shivering in the freezing cold of the night. He was only in a t-shirt and pants, and he had no coat. Seeing as that we both needed to get out of this fucking town tonight, I couldn't just leave him. I let out a long sigh and began waking back to him. I took off my jacket and handed it to him. "Come on, you're going to catch your death."
Morgan looked at me skeptically. "Really?"
"What, my jacket not good enough for you? Take it, I've got my hoodie. You've got nothing."
Morgan chuckled. "Well what do you know, Elio Summers has a soft side." He teased.
"Shut up and take the fucking jacket." I growled, my face red from embarrassment. I probably shouldn't have stopped.
Logan laughed in relief. "Well, thanks Summers." He smiled. He was always smiling. Even with his family. Although, who am I kidding, this was Mission. Nearly every family were basically redneck assholes. "I hope you're not going to try to get me to stay. I mean it when I say I'm not going home."
"I bought an extra train ticket in case I lost my first." I noted. "Im going into a Vancouver to visit my brother. We can find a shelter for you, or something."
Morgan raised an eyebrow. "Are you helping me out?"
"I'm saying it's either this, or go back." I frowned at him. "It's your choice, Smith. You ain't got a lot of options here, buddy. So how bout it?" I couldn't believe I was saying this. I trusted nobody, I cared only fir my brother, and I couldn't afford to get close to anyone. They already took all of my inspiration and all of my skill and all my love, for my craft and otherwise. But Morgan was the nicest guy in the universe. He deserved, in the least, a good place to rest and heal.
Morgan smiled at me. "Alright." He chuckled. "This feels like that scene in Tangled, where Eugene frees Rapunzel."
I rolled my eyes, adjusted my bag, and rubbed my temple. "It's more like a 'Come with me if you want you live' situation, but whatever."
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The train was cold and damp. There wasn't anyone else riding it this late other than us. That was expected though. I mean, what moron would go from Mission to Vancouver this late? We were just insanely desperate.
The silence hurt though. It gave me time to think about what I did not wish to think about, and that was scary as hell. The things my brain could do with a silence to torture me could be the next big horror movie.
So, I broke the ice. "Why are you running, Morgan?"
Me?" He asked, taken off guard.
"You seem happy. Why run?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "My dad's not very nice, to say the least. He got really unpleasant when mom died. He got angrier and louder, and he began hitting us. It gets harder and harder each time, but tonight he did some real damage. I don't wanna see my brother be put in that body bag." My eyes grew wide. Everyone wondered about Mr. Smith, but I always assumed it was nothing but a pipe rumour. I guess it was really true. Morgan looked at me. "I really don't expect you to understand. It's all pretty dark. It just really hurts you know? But I try to stay positive. I'll keep being positive too. Just somewhere else, you know?"
I nodded, and then, I did something impulsive. I opened my moth without speaking. "She must've planned it." I blurted out. "Both of them. I must've made myself appealing for them, ready for the slaughter. So easily manipulated, so easily used. I made them think I wanted it. That I could handle it."
Morgan looked at me, kind of horrified. "What are you talking about?"
"There were two women, Morgan. Two people who used me, who broke me. Before I became the monster our peers taunted in back in Mission. Elio, the crazy fucked up bastard. And before I go to my brother, I might as well let someone from that shitty town know the truth, let me just talk and free my mind, okay?" I asked. I couldn't believe I was letting my guard down to this guy, but I suppose it was only fair. I mean, he just told me about his dad and the pain he's gone through tonight, he deserves to know that there are others who feel the exact same things he does. They just get it in different ways. Besides, I'd kept this in for far too long and I have tortuted myself for far too much, going over all the events in my head. My memory was as clear as day, breaking down my logic and breaking me all together. Not even my brother knew the extent of the pain within my head and the agony within my heart. I needed to get this out.
I let out a deep breath. "The first was Laura. I thought she was a nice girl. She was four years over and had the softest hair and most beautiful face I'd ever seen. It was all a disguise though. She became controlling and manipulative, and did everything she could to keep me under her thumb. She sexualized me and told me all she wanted to do to me. It was grotesque. I begged her not to, to stop, but then she threatened me. It went so far that she even threatened death. It might've just been an online relationship, and it was only for six months but I felt so trapped. Defenceless. I felt as if I couldn't do a single thing about it. She tricked me, taunted me, kept me in a cage. She used me. If I had been farther gone, perhaps I couldn't have been able to get out. But I did. I did and it took six months to realize all she did. To get out of the shock I felt in being free from my cage."
Morgan looked shocked. "Elio..."
"Let me finish." I begged. "There's the second one too. Her name was Dianne. She was..." I took in a shaky breath. She was worse than Laura. She was harder to talk about. "She was nice. She...she acted like she really liked me. Like she cared about me. I told her everything, she was a good friend. She always flirted, but it was in good fun. She was 18. I was 15. It didn't seem like much. Then she said I owed her. That women needed certain things from men. That I owed her for her friendship. She...she took everything. All of it. She took my mind, my heart, my talent, my craft..." my eyes were burning with wet, hot, painful tears. I wiped my face, and I say it. "My virginity. I don't like the barn anymore. I changed. It all left and it changed. I can't sleep anymore. I'm hurting and I'm hurting bad and I can't stop it, it just won't stop. I want to feel better, I want to leave this all behind, but I really just can't. I've lost, I've lost it all. And it's gone.  and will never come back. It feels like I can't do anything but hurt some days."
A silence fell over us. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I inexplicably felt better.
Morgan broke the silence. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"You needed to know. You needed to know that you weren't alone. We've both been hurt by people we thought loved us. The difference between us is that you cope in a healthy way. I cope in the unhealthiest way imaginable." I finally look at him. "Don't be like me, Morgan. Don't be haunted, okay? You'll be alright." He nodded and the train stopped. I look up. "This is our stop."
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  Morgan looked up at the shelter. "You sure you're good without me?"
I let out a short laugh. "I've got my brother, I'll be fine." I kind of regretted telling him all that, but now it was all out in the open. I couldn't put it back now. Besides I felt better. I was still not okay, but that was better than absolutely horrified beyond all belief.
Morgan looked sad. "Just, try to feel better, okay?"
I shrugged. "I'll do my best, but I can't really promise you anything, buddy." I looked into the window of the shelter. "They're open. You should go."
Morgan nodded. His sad look stayed plastered on him, like glue. It wasn't a good look for him. "Do you want a hug before I go?"
I quickly took a step back and shook my head. "Oh no. After knowing what I told you, do you really think I want to be touched?"
Morgan looked a bit embarrassed. "Right, right. My bad." He waved. "Take care, okay?"
"I will." I nodded. I watched him go, and headed out myself. I went to a pay phone and called my brother. As I waited for the ringtone, I reflected on tonight. Tonight killed, and I knew it better than anyone. All I could do was hope that I could get rest in the day. Try to forget about this night, and the fact that I spoke about it all over again.
"Hello?"
I stopped thinking and started talking. "Hey Park. It's me, Elio."
"Elio? Where the hell are you?"
I let out a tiny chuckle. "That's a hell of a long story brother. How soon can you get to Seymour Street?"