My eyes rested on the bed, As I stared speechless at the crimson painted bed sheets. My stomach cringed at the sight, As my baby blue irises filled with tears. I wanted nothing more then to scream, but I'd have seemed to lost all air from my lungs, everything felt heavy. All I could do was sit there shaking watching my heart spill on my hands. " Ricky baby , what's wrong" I saw my husband roll over to face me before his eyes meet my own. Then he glanced down at the site that looked almost like a murder scene before he scrambled off are queen size bed.
" RICKY !! answer me baby come on what happened" My eyes countined to leak as my words mumbled out " I ...i..I think I lost the baby ". Chris immediately rushed to my side as I grabbed onto his shoulder allowing him to grab my almost lifeless body and cradle it down the stairs. I stared at him still crying before weakly coughing out a question. " where are you taking me?" I looked up petrified. " The hospital Ricky, there's no way I'm letting you suffer through this.
" Chris looked down into my bloodshot eyes before placing one of his famous pecks to my forehead. " please don't make me go, I...I'm ashamed" my heart dropped as I realized I was still in my bloody gown. Chris just kept walking but before we left the door he'd placed a sheet over my shoulders so that I could cover the evidence. At least till I went in to see my doctor. " I just want to make sure you're okay". Chris walked me outside and placed me in the passenger seat before passionately kissing my lips and buckling me in then doing the same for himself once on the drivers side.
~small time lapse~
We arrived to the hospital, I could feel the stares and I could hear the weeping. I was just as vulnerable as the men and women in the room, I felt bad knowing they were going through the same loss as myself.
"Richard cerulli ? the doctor will be seeing you now" I jumped from my thought feeling a strong grasp squeeze my own. And after that I stood up slowly chris supporting my back with his free arm. " everything's going to be fine" chris whispered gripping me closer to his side before we walked quitely to the back where the doctor had been leading us
" Richard allen cerulli ? Can you tell me your troubles" doctor Smith scribbled something in his pad as I stood up and let the sheet fall past my feet. " turn" the doctor instructed and I did as told. I could tell this troubled chris and knowing my husband was in pain as well only made my tears fall harder.
" Ricky you can sit now" I nodded and found a place on the lonley patients bed and my eyes just stared narrowly at nothing. " sadly I cant do much but I can proscribe you some pain medicines and get you in to see a therapist. Truely I feel for your lost."the doctor talked to us for about twenty minutes and then we were released.
The car ride was long and quiet, i could tell chris wanted to say something but instead he gripped my hand and held it as he drove us to are small flat." ricky babe...are you going to be okay?" i nodded looking out the window.Chris opened my door and took me inside and fed up with the day i rushed to bed not even bothering to change from my bloody gown...wearing the shame i guess you could say.With a shrug i turned out the lights and chris laid besides me arms wrapped protectivley around my slim body, i was going to knock him away but i needed his warmth and love.
~~small time lapse~
A small time went by and I'd seemed to have grown more depressed, chris was trying despretly to help but id seemed to have slowly day by day kick him from my shell.. " babe ?" do you want anything, I felt the bed sink in, but I countined to stare out the window watching as my neighbors played with their children. " no..." I softly replied holding a fake smile as I looked at Christopher " I'll be okay, go get yourself something" I turned back around blocking all life out once again. I'd felt bad considering Chris was all I had, But it was easier just to be alone.....
