661 // jeongchan [✓]

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tw// mentions of death

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Chan could remember all that much from the following months of when his father was killed. He could just remember feeling completely alone. He could recall the times he had cried through the night, or gotten so drunk that he couldn't remember anything at all.

And then, it got worse.

Chan looked down at his phone, the familar number popping up. The one he called so many times before all of this had happened. His hand was shaking as he answered the call and placed it up to his ear.

"This is Chan." He tried to make his voice sound like nothing was the matter, like nothing was wrong like he was happy.

"Chan! I've been trying to call you for days! Why haven't you picked up?!" Woojin's voice rang through the line.

"Why would you even call me Woojin? Don't you hate me too? Doesn't everyone?" Chan's voice cracked as he choked back tears.

"I don't hate you, Chan. You're the one who ended it. I miss you every day, Chan. Please, just talk to me. I saw the news story two months ago. I'm pretty sure everyone did."

"Yeah, but you'll end up hating me too Woojin. Everyone else did." Chan reached out to hang up the phone, but he couldn't.

"Just tell me where you're staying right now, okay? I can come over-"

"No, Woojin. I- You can't."

"Why not, Chan? You're scaring me. Please, let me help you!" Woojin's voice was urgent now.

"No, Woojin! You can't. You just can't."

"Fine. Then answer me this, Chan. Why did you break up with me? I know it wasn't about your parents because it was before that.." Woojin's voice quivered as he spoke.

"I was scared. And I didn't know what I was doing." Chan was curled up into a ball as he spoke, pressing the phone against his ear.

"I want to help you, Chan. Please- Just let me do something for you. Anything.."

"Don't call me again, Woojin. I don't deserve to have someone as caring as you think about me."

"Chan?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you."

"I miss you too, Woojin. I'm scared, and I'm just not myself right now. Maybe when I'm back to being myself we could be friends again. That's just to start out, okay?" Chan wanted to open his door to Woojin, let him slowly walk in and hug him, and make everything alright, but he didn't want to hurt the older any more than he already had.

"Okay..." Woojin sniffled.

"Don't cry Woojin. Please." Chan's face was already covered by a river of tears running down his cheeks and dripping onto his clothes.

"But that makes me want to cry..." Woojin laughed as he cried, and it made Chan's lips curl into a small smile.

"Bye, Woojin. I'll get better." Chan lied. He knew there was no way to fix him, no way to repair a glass plate that had shattered into too many pieces to see.

"Please do, Chan." Woojin replied. They sat there for awhile, neither wanting to hang up. 

"I love you, Chan. I always will." Woojin whispered before finally hanging up.

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