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Entry 3

I'm in love with a girl, she doesn't hold the same feelings for me. She loves someone else, only she doesn't see it. A very common story I know, but that is life. I used to talk to her every day, tell her good morning, tell her goodnight, now I find it difficult to type up a "hello". I love her, I know I do, and she knows it too, yet I am only delaying the inevitable, one day she will bid me a final farewell, and I shall one more be thrown into the abyss that is loneliness.

I acknowledge that I sound melodramatic, that "it'll be okay" and "there are other fish in the sea" but if you've ever truly loved someone then you know that you don't give a damn about any other fish, you only see the one, and everything else just seems to be in a haze. You don't want to wait for things to be okay, you want to be with them and for things to be great. You want to never leave their side, no matter what happens in the future, you have the willpower to move mountains if it means you could be an inch closer to them. Yet in cases like mine, even if I could move mountains...I don't think she would choose me. Because she still spends all her time away from me. Because she doesn't text me...at all, I have to start up a conversation. Then she'll say she misses me...but she's still with him. She still puts up with how poorly she's treated, how little he seems to care about her emotions, her thoughts. And she acts like I'm not here, like I don't exist, like I don't matter.

And maybe that's all to accurate.

But I don't expect to find any answers here, no one is really listening. I'm just chucking my thoughts into the void. After all nothing will ever change. She'll never look at me the way I see her. I'll never be able to change a thing.