Eyes

Part title

"You still owe me four"

The moment seems like a scene out of a movie. Zander standing in the open doorway, delivering a line that throws the audience completely. Sending a shockwave through the plot like the biggest twist of all. A hero making amends with a villain.

Is that what this is? Is he forgiving me? Why is he here? This isn't what I wanted.

"What?" Is the only word that manages to escape my lips during this lapse of disbelief. "You still owe me four" he says slower repeating himself.

"Why did you come back here? I wanted Link to be the last person I saw. I know I'm in no position to ask anything of you, but please... PLEASE GO"

I think that's when realization of the situation hits him. He slowly starts approaching me with his hand out. "Amari you don't need to do this".

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME, GO AWAY, GET OUT OF MY HEAD" I screech at him. I want this, he can't convince me otherwise. Everyone would be so much better off.

"Please look at me," looking at people is what got me into this mess, still I raise my gaze. "I am alive, I am fine, you don't need to do this."

"Seven. Seven people are not fine..." I say, barely audible compared to my previous screaming "What's one more".

I commit to it. I push the knife into my skin and expect it to go through, but it doesn't. My body refuses it. Zander seems just as confused as I am, pain shooting through his face, until I recognize the feeling. I had been so caught up in the moment that I hadn't even noticed. Noticed how strong it was.

The adrenaline. That's what I had been calling it up until now, but it's so much more, it's inhuman. Him being here has taken away my choice. This isn't what I wanted.

"LET ME KILL MYSELF" I begin chanting as I try bashing the knife against my arm "LET ME DIE, LET ME DIE... let me die... please" I break down into a puddle of tears on the floor, sitting on my knees. I wasn't focusing on the boy in anguish.

He seems afraid to come close to me, a bomb that didn't detonate even when the clock hit zero.

The first thing he does is take the knife away from me, I let him, I don't have enough energy to fight back. Then he sits in front of me and grabs my shoulders, but instantly jumps away. He felt that too. It was like a lightning bolt shot through us, a tingling rush of pure energy. Too bad physical bliss cannot fix mental misery.

He shakes it off, grabs my shoulders again and hugs me. It hits again, but unlike a lighting bolt it doesn't strike then fade, it prolongs. I can't help but to succumb to the feeling and lean into him. He probably thinks I don't feel it too since I don't react as strongly. I've just become a bit more used to it, but that first feeling of pure adrenaline on my first day will forever be unforgettable, I understand what he is experiencing. This is much stronger though, foreign even to me.

"Why didn't you let me die, why are you here Zander?" I whimper while looking at the small piece of floor tile in between our legs.

"I came to talk" he says lowly in my ear, neither of us looking up or pulling away. Just existing in the bliss of this moment. My brain is going through hell while my body is in a state of true ecstasy with his touch. I just nod.

"Was any of this intentional?"

I'm afraid that if I bring talking I will burst out in tears, instead I settle on shaking my head no. "How does it happen?" he asks next. This question doesn't have a simple yes or no answer so, I have to explain myself.

"When I look at someone they die" I say as simply as I can put such a complex concept. He probably thinks I'm lying or I'm insane. It sounds ridiculous.

"But I've looked you in the eye bef-" "I have special contacts that stop it, normal glasses work too" I interrupt to clarify which I admit was kind of rude.

"So that's why you needed the contacts from your mom so badly" he lets out in understanding. I find it weird that he just so easily believes me, but I guess he did experience it first hand. But what he said, how does he know about her?

"When I was here for the project I overheard you two talking, I'm sorry". It's almost as if he can read my mind with how aware of my thoughts he is. I don't know what to say anymore.

"What is this?" he finally asks after a few moments of silence. I think I know what he's indicating but I ask anyways "What is what?".

"Do you feel it too?"

Should I tell him? I'm confused myself, why does it feel this way? I'm not taking his energy if he feels this rush too, but what if he's in pain instead? What if I'm hurting him?

"It feels good" he says which confirms it's the same for both of us. "When I kill something I take it's energy, I don't know why but maybe because you survived it's like this" I confirm, committing to telling him a much as I know. It's weird to open up.

He lets go. The feeling is still very much there, just slightly faded. I finally look at him, still sitting across from me on the floor. I gasp when I notice something odd.

"Zander there's blood on your shirt" his once light blue t-shirt is now stained red on the left side of his torso.

"Oh, I meant to ask you about that too. When you were trying to hurt yourself it was cutting me, then when I touched you it healed. I feel fine now" he sounds so calm about it. What is happening?

"I have no idea how that happened" I say while reaching out for his arm, turning it over to see what appears to be untouched skin, he lets me. Why did my pain not effect me, but instead transfer to him? Why him? Why does anyone have to suffer my pain?

"Hey, hey why are you crying?" he asks me as I watch through blurry vision, the tears from my eyes dropping onto his arm.