LAST NOTE

LAST NOTE | 08December2011 | Thursday 7:33 PM

As this pen changes, I, too will try to change everything for myself. I want to be happy again. Im tired being the second choice. You know that Ive done everything that I can to make everything work but fate just wont let us. Im not blaming you for what happened to us. I know, you too are having a hard time and Im sorry for that. I just want to thank you for making me feel that I am loved. Thanks a lot for showing that you cared. I just want to let you know that because of you, I am who I am now. I can say that Ive changed, even though sometimes Im just being my old self. Thank you for walking into my life, even just for a while. Thank you for making me laugh with your silly jokes, for making me cry with your simplest words. Im sorry if at times Im annoying you, for taking you for granted, for being cold sometimes, for not letting you feel my presence. I know Ive done many things to make you feel bad, and Im sorry about that. Im sorry for the wasted times that have passed. Im sorry that I lied. And most off all, IM SORRY if it seems like I chose LOVE over our friendship which I said I will not do. But I hope you know how hard Ive tried not to let that happen. If you only saw how Ive struggled about this, I know, you will hug me tight and you will never let me feel this pain. Thank God for making our roads cross each other. Always remember that, I will always cherish every moment, every laughter, every tears, every words, every jokes that we had. Those things are deeply carved in my heart. It will serve as a little piece of being myself as a whole. You're the closest thing I had. I will not trade this for anything in the world. I loved you. I have loved you with every fiber of my existence and even if it comes in bits and pieces, I have given all that I can. Kahit na nakalimutan mo yong birthday ko, kahit na ilang beses mo akong pinaiyak at hindi pinansin, kahit ilang beses mo akong tiniis. Hinding hindi nagbago ang pagmamahal ko sayo. I can promise you that I wont forget about you.

As I end my last note, I would like to refresh your mind for a while. Not to blame or reproach you. I just want to make sure that Ive done something for you... I was the one who listened to your problems. I was the one who took your pains. I was the one who actually cared about you. I was the one who stuck around even when everyone told me to leave. I was the one who stood up for you. I was the one who loved you even when you gave me every reason not to.

Lastly, I was the one who was there for you when no one else was. I love you THAT MUCH. But now, I don't know where to stand in your life. Im letting go, for myself... to protect myself. I just want to be happy again. I don't know how would I feel if I read this 10 years from now, and Im absolutely clueless of what will you feel about this.

I tried, you didn't. Im done, have fun. Take care always! I will still love you. Please don't forget about me. Im setting you free. GOODBYE!

PS, I just want you to know that it took me so many times before I finally decide about this. This is definitely not easy for me. Ive hurt myself so many times and I even swallowed my pride. But I have to say this one. I know this sound so desperate but try to stand on my shoes. I think this is what you'll gonna do if you do so. After reading this one, you can say whatever you wanna say. But please don't hurt me anymore, don't hate me for doing this. I don't have something left for myself. Ive said it all. Instead, hug me, even if its the last. Thank you.