Dysphoria

Dear Everyone,

"You always run away from responsibilities."

No one of you knows the truth.

You don't know how much shattered I am

every time you speak those words to my ears

and mark it on my mind.

None of you ever dared to ask me why.

But I don't have to explain anything to you

because it's not the one I run away from;

it's my fear.

I am afraid that the trust you have given me

would just be spoiled

because I may not reach your expectations.

So in the first place, I'd rather prevent it from happening.

I'd choose to waste every oppotunity given to me

as long as your trust on me

wouldn't have the chance to be wasted.

Yes; I have disappointed you,

but at least,

there's nothing more than that.

So, I'd gladly prefer to hear these words from you —

"You always run away from your fear."

But it's the painful truth

you would never know.