The monster I am

Part 3: Past

Central City
22:00

Bart understand why Jaime kiss him it was because of the tradition of mistletoe but he had to do it only for less than ten seconds but no one minute. For him, it was hell because he love Jaime and not on the friend way. He want to be with him, stay with Jaime but he can't not after what he he has done in the future.

Bart doesn't want to break Jaime's feelings but when Bart look at himself in the mirror, the only thing he see it's a monster. He killed people in the future, of course he killed Reach soldiers but he killed humans. Someone snapped it from his thoughts by grabbing him one of his arm. He turned around and saw it was Nightwing unmasked, still with his suit but unmasked.

"Dick, what are you doing to Central ?" Bart asked
"I saw you slipped out from the party earlier and I wanted to talk to you in private but Jaime goes first. I knew it was just a question of time before you left the Watchtower so.."
"So you leave it before I'll do it and since you waited me to return to Central." finished Bart and Dick nodded "I don't know what you want to talk but I'm tired. Can we do this later ?" demanded Bart.
"We both know you're not tired, Bart. You just search a pretext to avoid subjects. We're here to help you, I'm here to help you."
"You know what will help me, Nightwing ? That you let me go." Bart growled
"I just want to talk, Bart, no fighting. Only both of us, no Batman or Miss Martian."
".....Fine but not here."
"In front of the Flash museum ?" suggest Dick. He didn't see the answer of Bart because the speedster pick him and run the fastest he could until they arrived to the Flash museum.
"So what do you want to talk ?"
"About the future. I heard your conversation with Blue and when Cassie interrupt you I left but there a few thing I didn't understand. For example you say you don't deserve to be happy or to celebrate something." explained the former Robin

At the mention of this part, Bart lowered his head and look his feet, he feel ashame.
"Dick, You don't know what you're asking me.." said Bart, tears filling his eyes
"This is the kind of secrets we try to avoid Bart because we know they eating you and the team. I know you came from a horrible future but what you saw there you need to talk about it here."
"It's not really what I saw that I would like to erase but rather what I did, even though both are horrible."
"Tell me both."
"You know that the Reach made experiment on those who had the metagene. Well I was one of their prisoner, they test all my powers and how long I could hold with food. But some of the metahumans loose their sanity and their reason and they become crazy. True monsters that the Reach free on Earth. The only place you where safe was on their camp. Those who loose their humanity killed humans and Reach soldiers and they.... they...."
"And they what ?"
"... eat them"

Dick couldn't believe what the youngest speedster had just said. Humans enough crazy to eat innocent peoples.
"Okay that one thing and the other."
"I killed many Reach soldiers and the Failures."
"Failures ?"
"Those who loose all notion of humanity, that's how the Reach calls them. I killed so many of them but the worst thing is the first time I kill someone, I like it, I feel good, Dick and I feel so happy to kill someone each time I killed whether it was a Reach or one of the Failures and if I didn't kill them with one blow, I was happy to see them suffer, to torture them especially the Reach. I'm a monster among the monsters. No I'm worst, I shouldn't exist. That's why I have no right to be happy, Richard."

No one call him Richard since a while but Dick doesn't care, the kid need a hug but he saw Bart rejected the hug from Jaime. So he didn't do anything he just let the boy cry. He probably think the same thing of him if he was Bart. But there's still a question on Dick's mind.
"Does Jaime know that ?"
"NO AND HE MUST NEVER KNOW !" yelled Bart on his nervs, he gripped Dick by the collar "If for whatever reason he know it, I will make you regret it."
"Calm down, Bart but I promise you I'll never tell him." when he said that, Bart took a few step back and fall on his knees and he cry more louder and has difficulties to breath. "Hey Bart, calm down all of this is over, this future would never happen."
"It's not that, I.. I threated you Dick and when I told that I.. I saw what I've done to all the persons I torture and just after.. you were at their place. I'm a monster"

This time the kid really need a hug so whatever it takes, Dick decided to hug him even if he has to fight against Bart. But the boy didn't do anything when Nightwing wrap into a hug.
"You love him do you ?" he felt Bart nodded "but you don't want to tell him ?" Once again, Bart give a positive answer "Why ?"
"Because when he was put on the mode I thought to torture him like the version of his future did to me and like I did with the Reach soldiers. But this time I have the possibility to do it because he wasn'ts bigger as the one on my future. I wanted to hurt him badly, Dick even kill him. And this thought comes back several time but where she was most tempting and I almost dit it was when we went to Qurac to free him." Bart explained
"How do you know when you're gonna to hurt someone ?"
"I sense shiver in my body but there's a exterior sign, my eyes turn gold and before you asked it gold was the color of my mom's eyes."
"Thank you for telling me this Bart. It will be our secret not even Bruce will know. You can go to your home."
"Thank you Dick." and Bart left Dick alone