Last Christmas | REDDIE - KASPBROUGH

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.

Eddie told Richie he loved him for the first time on Christmas of 1989. They were both 15 years old and everyone knew they had loved each other since they were old enough to know what love was.

It was a freezing cold, snowy evening in Derry and Richie had climbed through Eddie's window after a particularly bad fight with his mother.

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"Rich, come here." He whispered immediately after seeing Richie's trembling, teary eyed appearance. Richie fell onto the bed beside Eddie, who opened his arms, welcoming Richie into his embrace. Richie immediately collapsed into his arms, sobbing into Eddie's shirt. Eddie brought his hands to Richie's messy hair, combing his hands through his locks just the way Richie liked it. Eddie felt the tears of the boy he loved soak through his shirt.

Eddie never asked if he wanted to talk about it. Eddie was always whatever Richie needed him to be. When Richie would be alone for weeks, Eddie gave him the human contact he craved through hugs and cuddles. And if there were ever times when Richie wanted to talk, he did without invitation.

"Eds, she doesn't love me." Richie barely managed to say in between sobs. He was crying so hard he couldn't catch his breath. "Shhhh" Eddie said gently as he rubbed slow circles on Richie's back. "No Eds, it's fucking Christmas and she just-" He has to pause after a particularly brutal sob wracked his body, "she said I was her biggest regret in life. That I'm a waste of space." Eddie felt physically ill. "Rich-" Richie, still buried in Eddie's shirt shakes his head. "No one loves me Eddie."

Eddie feels tears running down his own cheeks. He reached down, grabbing Richie's face with hands and forcing him to look at him. "Richie Tozier, don't you ever fucking say that." Eddie said mustering up every possible ounce of persuasion in his voice. Richie smiled sadly, tears still pouring down his face. "You know it's true Eds, the Losers say they love me, but even they'll move on and forget about me eventually." He says, voice shaking with pain.

Eddie cupped Richie's cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away Richie's tears. He shook his head slowly, never breaking eye contact with Richie. "No Richie, I can't speak for anyone else, but I love you." He whispered. Richie momentarily looked shocked, his mouth opening slightly and his eyes widening, but quickly regained his previous demeanor. "Eddie don't lie to me. Caring about someone isn't the same thing as love." He said sadly. "No it isn't," Eddie said with a small smile, "but I love you. I have since we were kids Rich." Eddie felt his voice wavering, immediately dreading Richie's response to his confession.

Seconds stretched out and Eddie's dread grew. "Please say something." He pleaded. Richie looked at Eddie, as if broken out of a trance. He smiled for just a second before softly pressing his lips to Eddie's. It was objectively a bad kiss. It was salty and both boys' lips were turned up in wide smiles. But that didn't matter, all the boys felt was pure joy.

Eddie was the first to break the kiss, leaning his head against Richie's forehead. "I love you Richie, don't forget that." Eddie whispered, meaning every single word.
Richie stayed quiet and just laid on Eddie as he wrapped his arms around the broken boy.

Richie never said I love you back.
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A/N :
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas yesterday 💙
Also , This story is inspired by a story I read a while ago