Last Christmas | REDDIE - KASPBROUGH

This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special.

'This year, to save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special'

After the "incident" on New Year's, there was a definite divide in the Losers. Richie, Ben, Mike, and Beverly on one end and Eddie, Bill, and Stan on the other. It was like each parents gaining custody of specific children during a divorce. Bill made it clear he was sticking by Eddie's side and some followed. Beverly defended Richie and some followed her. There was no real animosity between the two actions, but there was too much pain to mend the breach.

Now, almost a year out from the incident, as much as he hates to admit it, the pain still lingers. Now 16, he has felt more than enough love from his two best friends to be assured that he was cared for, but he can't quite erase the scars of heartbreak from his memory.

Bill, his main support system, really has been his rock. The night after he saw Richie kissing someone else at the party, Bill stayed up all night with Eddie, wiping away his tears, comforting him, and just being there. Ever since, he has gone out of his way to take Eddie under his wing. He checked in on him regularly, constantly reaffirmed that Eddie was loved, and generally cared for him. He took the weight of the world off of Eddie's shoulders and Eddie loved him for it.

Since winter break had began, Stan, Eddie, and Bill had basically been non-stop hanging out, having week long sleepovers at Bill's house, going to Stan's for dinner every night of Hanukkah, and listening to music on Eddie's mom's record player everytime she was out. However, Stan's parents disapproved of all the time he was spending out, so for the past few nights, it was only Eddie and Bill.

It was the night of Christmas Eve and they were buried under Bill's comforter in the darkness, the only light was the sliver of illumination under the door from the hallway. They turned out the lights 15 minutes prior, saying their goodnights, but Eddie still couldn't sleep. He lay awake, mind running wild. He knows he's being ridiculous, but he can't help but remember the events that occurred almost exactly a year ago. Wanting desperately to talk about it, he tries to get Bill's attention. "Bill," he whispers softly, "you awake?" Bill hums and turns towards him. Eddie suddenly loses his nerve, "I'm sorry I woke you, I'm being ridiculous, I'm really sorry, I just couldn't sleep. Just forget I said anything, again, I'm sorry, go back to bed." He says, embarrassed. Bill brings his hand up to rest it on Eddie's shoulder, demanding his attention. "H-hey, d-don't apologize, everyone has night where they can't get their brain to quiet down. Tell me what's b-bugging you Eds." Bill says kindly.

A smile involuntarily grows on Eddie's face, touched by Bill's kindness. "It's stupid really, it's just that, last year on Christmas. That's when I told Richie I loved him." Eddie curses himself for sounding so emotional. Bill sharply inhales, getting an angry look on his face. Eddie immediately regrets saying anything, knowing he's finally gotten on Bill's nerve with all his self pitying rambling.

His inner dialogue is cut off by Bill's voice. "I'm so sorry Eds," Eddie's heart skips a beat at the use of Richie's nickname for him, but he isn't sure if its in a bad way or not, "you don't deserve all the shit you've dealt with. If I could take the pain away I would in a heartbeat." Bill is looking deeply into Eddie's eyes, conveying more emotion than could ever be captured in speech.

Eddie feels a blush rising to his cheeks at the emotion in Bill's voice. He can't decipher the emotions that are assaulting him. His heart is pounding so loudly he swears Bill can hear it and he feels more overwhelmed than he has in a long time. "Why are you so good to me Bill?" He asks, genuinely wondering. Bill laughs breathily, "can't you see it Ed's ?" he asks, Eddie hadn't noticed they were speaking in whispers until now. Eddie shakes his head, not breaking eye contact with Bill for a second.

Bill closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and places a kiss on Eddie's lips.

The kiss is nothing like Eddie's first kiss with Richie. There is not salty taste of tears, no faces stretched into smiles. There's the warmth of Bill's bed and the gentle press of Bill's lips to his own. Eddie blinks away his confusion before bringing his hand up to card his fingers through Bill's soft, straight hair.

It's Bill who pulls away slowly. "I love you Eds. Even if you aren't over Richie, which I would understand, I love you anyways. " Eddie smiles softly, "You didn't stutter once Bill," he says before pressing another, shorter kiss to Bill's lips. "I won't lie to you, I'm not completely over him, but I've never felt closer to another person than I do with you. No one's ever cared about me like you do Bill. Fuck it, I love you too idiot." The third kiss is longer and more confident and by far the best kiss either of them have ever had.

After they break apart, Bill spots the time on his digital alarm clock: 12:01. He smiles and laughs softly, "Merry Christmas Eddie." Eddie smiles before drifting off to sleep in the arms of the boy who loves him.
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A/N ; okay but Bill and Eddie?!?! Lowkey a yes please