Sycamore Trail

Prologue

     Life is always filled with the unexpected. You could have your entire future planned out by the time your 16, but it can all change in an instant. That's what I've never liked about life: I don't have control over it. I can't say that in 20 years I'll be exactly where I want to be. All I can I do is take the needed steps I can take to reach that point and hope that nothing disrupts that path.
      I used to know exactly what I was going to do the next day and the day after that. I was never uncertain about what was going to happen in my life. I had control.
      Now I don't know what my future is going to look like. Every day I wake up and I'm struck with the fear that uncertainty brings. My life could completely turn into a living hell in an instant. One night, that changed everything. And I wasn't the only one effected. All my friends have to live with the paralyzing uncertainty that I do. All because a couple of juniors is high school decided to have a little too much fun one night.
      No one knows about what happened but us five. We all made a pact to never tell a single soul about it. We all have to carry the crippling burden of that secret around every day. We all have to act like we are walking on thin ice that's about to break at any second. I've never spent so much time looking over my shoulder and wondering if anyone else knows about that night.
      Secrets change people. The burden of them tears you down and crushes your humanity. No one ever knows how far they are willing to go to protect themselves from being exposed. None of us know how far we might have to go to keep our secret private, but I know I'm willing to do anything to keep my future secure. 
      All I can do is think about that night. It distracts me from everything I do, like this paper I have to write about the Scarlet Letter that's due tomorrow. I sigh and close my laptop in frustration . I never had problems with completing assignments, but now I'm too distracted to focus on them.
      I stare at my closed computer. There's no way I'm going to finish that paper by third period. School used to be my top priority in life but it suddenly didn't mean as much to me how well I did or what grades I got. Nothing really matters to me anymore besides keeping the contents of that night hidden away from the prying eyes of the world.
The weight of a secret is the heaviest burden anyone ever has to carry, and I know the weight of this one is crushing me. It's completely flattening my soul and my sanity and bringing uncontrollable guilt.
Psychologists say guilt is a cognitive or emotional experience that occurs when a person believes that they have compromised their standards of morality. It's funny how guilt and secrets go together so great. Because when you keep a secret you feel the destructive guilt that comes with not telling anybody. Secrets crush the humanity and guilt crushes the morality. Crushed humanity and crushed morals mix together to create unavoidable chaos and devastation.
Chaos and devastation. That's exactly what I don't need in my life right now. I'm only a junior in high school, I have my whole life to live still. But I never know where I might be spending it, what will happen if people find out about that night. My life, what once used to be set out and planned, is now a tangled web of secrecy and guilt. I have no control anymore. I don't know what will happen to me or my friends; all I know is that one monumental mistake could lead to the destruction of five lives of teenagers who once had a bright future.