The Secrets she Kept

The Secrets She kept (Part One)

Have you ever been in a situation were you felt like everyone around you was omnipotent...knowing and seeing every little thing you do? If you were to walk into the house of the Lord they'd know the sins you committed... you'd feel so embarrassed and ashamed well that's how I feel in my situation. I was so excited to be apart of of Jesus Loves Us Ministry's! but little did I know how jacked up they were behind closed doors . I was a normal peculiar twelve year old I didn't know much about God or who he was.
August 12 2013
Chapter 1
I ended up going to the library and I felt that the day was going a bit weird. I left not knowing what God was doing in my life. On my way home I went to a tent revival I got saved that was the best day of my life. I walked in and I could feel the holy spirit descending like a dove and I set there and I could feel the holy spirit descending on that revival and it felt like heaven came to earth. The minister was up there preaching and was saying how the enemy has no power the words began to minister to me. I began to cry and the holy spirit rushed over me like cooling waters the holy spirit cleansed me it was the best thing you could ever experience. The Apostle pointed at me and said you come here. At first I thought I was in trouble but I went up there and he said God told me to tell you that you are pretty and a group of prophets surrounded me and prayed and prophesied over me. Apostle warned me that everyday wouldn't be a walk in the park. I felt a joy that I never felt before I was drunk in the spirit I couldn't really even keep my balance I didn't remember anybody but a few people that were there
Chapter 2
~Angel~
I ran into a prophet her name was Angel because I could never forget how much she helped me and how much I loved me. She was 5'7 she was light skinned pretty. She had green emerald eyes she was just beautiful & gentle her hugs were everything she was so warm she was the reason why I started liking hug. I loved everything about her until I got to know her. I was attracted to the anointing that God gave her. I was interested in getting to know her as a person. I wanted a big sister someone I could build a bond with but it didn't work out like that you know how you imagine how you want something to be or what kinda relationship you want with someone but it didn't work out like that. After service I got her number. She took out a small piece of paper I still remember her phone number (414)712-5858 yes as you can see I had a crush on her didn't realize I did for a long time. Now that I think about it I realized that she maybe she wasn't strong enough to deal with or didn't want to deal what was attacking me to attack her.

I wanted a big sister someone I could build a bond with but it didn't work out like that you know how you imagine how you want something to be or what kinda relationship you want with someone but it didn't work out like that. I called her the next day and I got to go to church with her now that I'm older I wished I wouldn't of talked to anybody there. Church was Good the holy spirit swept through that place. I kept going to church no matter what. A couple of days after I got saved the Lord whispered a poem in my ear in my sleep called ''Angel From God'' you rebirthed me with your words when I was ripped into pieces you put me back together like a puzzle now you healed me from my bruises & scratches I'm healed and your love is everlasting to my heart now your love is everlasting to my heart I was praying for someone like you from the start. I called her one day and showed her the poem and she seemed excited about it. I wrote her a book of poems and when I seen her at church I was so happy to see her she had a blue dress on her hair was gold and black she looked really nice and I hugged her and I embraced her and she looked at the poems. I wonder if she threw them away I wonder what she did with them? I made her a lot of Arts and crafts, but eventually she got tired of it and one day she told me she didn't want anymore... and my heart dropped like a glass dropping but no sound but pieces everywhere. She got tired of me giving her gifts she got tired of me calling I didn't understand why she didn't wanna open up to me. I started calling her she got tired of me bothering her at least that's what it felt like. I didn't understand why she didn't want to open up to me. The more I opened up the more I got hurt and that's how I received the spirit of rejection. It hurted my twelve year old heart. At the time I didn't know I was struggling with the spirit of lesbianism and angel didn't know how to deal with and it pushed her away. And I didn't see that the enemy was operating in my life but because I was a babe in christ and now I regret how I acted. I wonder why she wasn't able to see what the enemy was doing and dismantle his works that he was trying to in me to her.
because I was a babe in christ and I regret it. And I wonder why she wasn't able to see what the enemy was doing and dismantle his works? I just wanted to get to know the real Angel not her representative.
I Thought We Had A Bond?