Sam Golbach and Colby Brock

10

Ever since I was little I hated my self. I also always had Anxiety and depression. I was always to fat, to short, to skinny, and stuff like that. Anything someone would say about me I would believe. I can't just ignore stuff like other people. No one in the house knows that, except Luna. If me and Colby have sex he will see the scars, and the ones I made not to long ago. I started to cut my wrist at a very young point in my life. People said I did it for attention, so I put them on my thighs where no one would ever see them. That's why I was wearing shorts when we went swimming. I try to hide them as much as I can. I do it not because I wanna die, but because with every cut it makes me feel better. It distracts me I guess. It is like if your dog died you would be sad, then you get a new one it distracts you from it even though you know in the back of your mind it will die soon. That is what it is like for me. I know the cut will go away soon but I still do it and when it does I make a new one. I don't know how he will feel about the cuts. I don't want to be treated differently like a freak or something. I don't want to tell him before that happens because what if he doesn't like me anymore. It would make sense if he wouldn't like when you clean a room, it looks great once you see it then when someone points out what's wrong you can't unsee it. The room now looks a mess. That is why I am scared. He won't like me any more.