Because we were both on the council at school we had a major group chat with everyone and with tour coming up fast we were trying to fix any last minute things up, I was the social chair that year I had to be really involved with all of the planning for it. So I was always on the group chat but never replying to his messages. I knew this got to him because besides being called out every time we made eye contact he would point at my phone or his phone to try to get my attention so I would just say something in the group chat we had. If he wanted to talk to me so bad why did I have to say something first? Plus he was still talking to the other girl and I had just gotten his ex off my back and even though I still had the biggest crush on him in the whole world I didn't want to be involved while he was with someone.
It was the night before we left for tour and I was packing because I was the worst (and I still am) about packing, when I got a call from him, it ended up being a very long conversation about how he wanted to break things off with this girl, he informed me that they were never anything official several times and told me that once we got on the bus tomorrow night he needed to talk to me. At first I thought he was just going to yell at me for everything with his ex and honestly I wasn't ready for that. So I met up with him on the bus but then swiftly moved several rows up and sat with my little sister who luckily was going on this tour with me.
When we were loading things onto the bus I went to walk on and I saw him with the girl he told me he wanted to end things with, I knew it wasn't my place but I sat sadly and watched as he kissed her and his mother goodbye before walking over to the bus. In order to avoid eye contact after that I quickly changed my gaze to the ground and continued to walk up the stairs of the bus. I heard him call my name but I knew the girl was watching us and with the information he told me last night I didn't feel comfortable with anything happening so I simply ignored him and walked down into the bus and waited for his parents to leave the parking lot with her before I even talked to him, I turned around and greeted him. He barely smiled at me pointed a finger at me and "I need to talk to you." That was all I got.
I was nervous. I didn't know what he wanted to say, how I was going to react. He left me in complete blank. 100% in the dark. Right before we spent 11 hours on the bus where we would have no privacy so I would have to wait till we got to our hotel which probably wouldn't give us any privacy and so I didn't know when this conversation was going to happen but I knew it would. At some point. Luckily we left at night so I could try and sleep through most of the night.
It did not happen that way. In fact at some point, because of my amazing self control, I ended up at the back of the bus sitting on a cooler with my head resting on his shoulder. We stayed like that for a while, talking and playing games with everyone there. Once it hit about 2 am I decided that I was too tired and things I should not say where starting to come out of my mouth. I moved back up to my seat as quietly as I could but at this point I was at the level of a very intoxicated person.
I am not sure when it happened but I woke up to my sisters knee in my back and once I opened my eyes, I saw him. At first I was majorly scared that he was watching me sleep but after a second of the most horrifying eye contact I had ever made with anyone, he layed back down and for a minute I was spooked but it was still very early in the morning so I rolled over and went back to bed. But once I woke up again and we hit a rest stop and everyone got off to change and brush our teeth before the first concert we played.
I tried to talk to him after I had changed but he brushed me off and went to talk to other girls that happened to be there and didn't actually go to school with us. I wasn't sure what he was doing so I decided if that's how he wanted it then I could give it to him. I ignored him for 2 days. He would text me and try to get my attention but if that was all he wanted he could wait for us to get back and he could get all the attention he wanted from the girl back home. I didn't want something that lasted for 5 days and then we acted like nothing happened at home and he went back to the other girl.
He was with the people I normally was with so I decided that I would hang out with my little sister this trip because this would be our only tour together and I was moving 2017.6 miles away for college. So that is exactly what we did. We had so much fun together. We created so many amazing memories together for the first while. Then he talked to me at the hotel. I had gotten a text from him and was a little confused he said that he wanted to talk and to meet him where everyone was playing cards in the lobby. I was sitting in my room with some other girls explaining to them everything that was going on with him, his ex, and his girl from home. Which took some time.
I went downstairs and looked around trying to find him, I saw him with a group of guys playing cards and I walked over to him and just stood by him for a minute. He turned around and smiled at me letting the butterflies dance around inside me, he told me that he would be done in just a sec and wanted to go outside to talk. I waited for a minute until he was done and then we walked outside together. We walked out a door I am pretty sure we weren't supposed to go through but we didn't want to draw attention by walking around the lobby.
Once we were outside I had gotten a call from his ex. We both looked at the name on my screen and we decided to ignore it. We walked in silence for a couple of minutes neither of us knew what to say. He cleared his throat and then looked at me, he told me he was sorry for how he was treating me and that I didn't deserve it. He told me about the girl and why they had kissed and I guess now his parents really liked her and he didn't want to disappoint them. I nodded and told him that if that was what he wanted then he should stay with her. Why give up something that made you happy. But then he told me something that I wasn't expecting to hear at all. He told me that I make him happy.
I stood in shock for a couple of minutes, he laughed slightly and pulled me into a hug that lasted a couple minutes and he just held me. And I had never felt for safe and wanted then I did in that moment.
