The Nightingale

Chapter Thirty-Six

"I'm coming with you." Natasha came to stop next to Alexander at the ship's edge, where he was standing with Castille. The two men were overseeing a handful of the crew as they climbed into rowboats to take them to the shores, taking with them goods to trade with and a few sacks for the materials they would need to bring back to The Nightingale.

They had arrived beyond the borders of the kingdom, at a small fishing village set in a clearing of an expansive forest, where the trees gave way to tall grasses and the grass gave way to white beaches. It was only a few hours after the sun rose when they started to lower the black and red flag that marked their ship and dropped the anchors, securing the ship a small distance away from the village, where the trees creeped right to the water, mixing into a shallow pool of rocks, tree roots, and mud.

Natasha had stood at the back of John's quarters for a moment, taking in the border of the forest while she listened to the sounds of the crew at work around her. When she heard Castille and Alexander begin to order the men off the ship, she turned away from the windows and looked back at John. She had spent the entire night curled in his chair, drafting three different letters to the three she owed the biggest explanations to, but knew she could not have with them in person. She left each folded neatly at the center of John's desk, trusting that they would be found by John if he woke, Alexander when he came to check on John, or Jack during one of his explorations of the ship. With one more look at John, she changed into one of the plainer dresses she had bought back at the village on the other side of the mountains of her home, planning on discarding it for more comfortable clothes that fit her more properly than John's. She tucked her dagger into her left boot, took the belt that held her sword and wrapped it around her waist underneath the skirt of the dress, keeping the weapon out of sight. Lastly, she took her bag and draped it across her body, inside her sketchbook, her charcoal, and a small amount of coins she had taken from John's desk in case she needed it.

With one last look around the room that had become her home for the last few weeks, at the man still sleeping on the bed that she found herself wishing she didn't have to leave, she left the room and crossed the crowded deck to where Alexander and Castille were standing.

When she neared them, Alexander looked down at her with a mixed expression of surprise at her approach and apprehension towards her request.

"We're merely going out for supplies to repair the ship, there's no need for you to join us," was Alexander's response, and Natasha knew why he was insisting she needn't come. Alexander knew her intention for wanting to get off the ship, and Natasha knew that he would do whatever he could to keep her on board.

"There are things that I need as well, Alexander," she said evenly, wanting to avoid arguing with him in the midst of most of the crewmembers, but Alexander seemed resolved to be as stubborn as her in his desire to keep her from completing the rest of the journey by herself.

"Tell me what you need, I can pick up what you need."

Sighing and clenching her jaw for a moment, Natasha looked over at the men as they began to lower one of the boats into light blue water. "Alexander, you and I are both well aware that I will find my way off of this ship either with or without your help. Let us make this easy on everyone." Without waiting for his protest, Natasha passed in front of him and Castille towards where the second boat was hanging over the side of The Nightingale, where one of the crewmembers extended his hand to help her overboard. She took it, to make a point, and settled into the empty boat, looking up at Alexander with a tenacious, expectant expression, discerning the fury swirling behind his eyes as he looked down at her, Castille looking bemused beside him as he clapped Alexander on the back and then turned away, not without the briefest of nods in Natasha's direction. She wondered if he knew of her plan.

After a moment of tense hesitation, the crewmembers who would be joining them looking cautiously between Alexander and her, Alexander moved to climb over the edge of the ship and sit across from her in the small boat, resting his forearms along his thighs as he clasped his hands together tightly, looking down at the space between his feet. He said nothing to her as four other men joined them, two behind Alexander and two behind her before the boat started to jerk and lower until it dropped into the still blue water. The moment their boat made contact with the water, Alexander looked up at her.

"Did you even say goodbye to Jack?" Alexander asked, his voice low as he craned his neck up to look at her. Natasha met his gaze from where she had let her eyes wander, to the village they were approaching.

"No," Natasha responded shortly, pulling her eyes across Alexander's expression, taking in the bitterness in his clenched jaw, the anger in his pursed lips, and the sorrow deep behind his blue eyes. She felt a sadness looking at him, despite his current hostility towards her, knowing that she would shortly be leaving him.

"And John? He'll go mad when he finds out you've gone."

"My deal with John was only ever that he would get me to Acalia," Natasha reminded him again, "I never asked for help beyond this point."

"Natasha-"

"Stop," she interrupted him, raising her voice slightly, her eyes glancing to the two men rowing behind Alexander, and how their eyes were both trained down at their legs as they propelled the increasingly small-feeling boat towards the shore. "You won't change my mind."

To her relief, Alexander dropped the argument, and the small boat rocked forward until it caught on the shore beneath them, jolting Natasha forward slightly. She didn't wait for the crew to jump out around her and pull the boat fully onto the shore, but stood and pulled her dress up in her hands, jumping out into the shallows alongside the men. Alexander followed quickly, walking next to her as she began to cross the beach towards the village.

"You have your dagger as well as your sword," he commented. "You're really not coming back." Natasha stopped suddenly, sending Alexander a step ahead of her before he turned around to face her.

"I need to find my family, Alexander. That is the only reason I have gone through all of this. Anything else that has happened since that day, I can't let that distract me from finding them."

"I'm not trying to distract you, Natasha." Alexander's voice was desperate as he stepped closer to her, leaving barely any space between them as he looked down at her, his expression as distressed as his tone. "I want to help. You can't do this on your own, you have no idea what it's like inside the kingdom?"

"You have no idea what I'm capable of doing on my own, Alexander," Natasha replied hotly, anger coursing through her again at the notion of seeming so helpless to these men. "Not one of you has ever given me the chance. You assume I'm always in need of rescuing, but I'm not. My family needs my help, my family, and it's because of me, so you can stop offering me help. I've already told you, no one else is going to get hurt or die for me." Fury fueling her, Natasha began to walk away from Alexander once more, having grown tired over the last few days of trying to explain herself, of trying to convince everyone around her that she could take care of herself.

"Where are you going?" Alexander called after her, although she didn't hear his footsteps brushing through the sand to follow her.

"I told you," she called back over her shoulder, not fully turning back to look at him. "I have things I need."

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A/N: Short filler chapter! :) I'm getting excited to get to the end of this story (fear not, I've actually already started working on the sequel) so I'm trying to get a lot of writing in over the next few days before the winter vacation ends.