Forbidden Love That Wasn't

Marinette

It wasn't the sun softly sifting through closed curtains of her bedroom windows, nor was it the echo of the city noises outside that kept Marinette awake. Tikki remained silent all night. The building hadn't woken up yet, and the only sounds resonating through the room were the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall and the frantic heartbeat in her chest. Yet she couldn't sleep.

Adrien had kissed her. And not just "casually kissing my friend" kissed her. No. That was a kiss of passion, desire and desperation yet so soft and gentle- Marinette could never forget it. Even now her whole body tingled at the slightest recollection of just how close Adrien had held her. Her lips burned each time she'd brought her fingers to them, their kiss being as fresh in her memory as if it'd just happened, the kiss that felt so right but was so wrong on many levels.

Marinette knew she had no right to kiss him – he wasn't hers. Still, when Adrien had warned her in that soft neck peck, everything took a step back and all Marinette could do was to give him a feeble opportunity for an escape in case he'd change his mind. He didn't take it. Instead, he'd turned her around and without words asked for her consent, searching her eyes for an answer. Adrien was leaning in so excruciatingly slow, Marinette could back away at any moment. But she didn't. She was too deep in love with him. She'd been dreaming of this for years. One kiss. Just one single kiss. She wanted it so badly. She'd deserved it. For everything she'd gone through for Adrien, Marinette let herself believe that she'd earned that kiss. Incredible. Breathtaking. Unforgettable kiss. The kiss that was so amazing- right until the point where her sanity took over and reminded her that Adrien was not hers to kiss. Kagami existed, and Marinette couldn't have him.

Groaning, Marinette buried her face into the pillow. A moment later, goosebumps prickled the trail that Adrien had kissed on her neck and she could hardly keep a smile off her face.

"Marinette?" Tikki landed beside her. "How are you feeling?"

"Disoriented," Marinette murmured into the pillow. "There are so many contradictory emotions in my head right now that I might go crazy at any moment."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Marinette whispered after a few moments. "Not now at least."

"Alright." Tikki gently patted Marinette's shoulder. "Do you think you can to talk to Alya maybe?"

"No!" Marinette twisted around and flopped onto her pillows face up. "Alya's been struggling with the whole 'Adrien's dating Kagami instead of my bestie' thing herself. If I tell her what happened, she'll jump into action and I don't think that's a good idea right now." She paused, staring at the ceiling as her fingers ghosted above her lips again, "I should process it all myself first before talking to anyone."

"If it makes you feel better," Tikki said, "I think that you managed the situation very well."

"I've become the other woman," Marinette grumbled. "I hate that."

"You had a moment of weakness," Tikki protested, "All people have them and that's normal. What really matters is that you were able to take control and stop in time and that couldn't have been easy considering you've been in love with him for years. I wouldn't call it being the other woman per se, Marinette. Plus, that Adrien said he'd decided to end things with Kagami a day before he kissed you, which means he is as good as single."

"But when we kissed," Marinette said quietly. "He was still very much in a relationship with Kagami."

"Didn't he also say that their relationship was never authentic? I don't think Adrien would lie to you about such matters. I don't think he would lie to you at all."