Christmas Carols

t e n

15 years later. . .

  "Don't drop that ornament!" I yell to Stella.

"I won't. Focus on your own ornaments!"

  Suddenly, the sound of an ornament breaking happens and I immediately turn to Stella so I can yell at her. It isn't her though, it's the small girl who looks like she's about to cry.

  "Carol! Are you okay?" I ask her and I rush to her side so I can comfort her.

  "If that had been me then I would have gotten the scolding of the century," Stella says, rolling her eyes.

  "Carol did it on accident. Right Carol?"

  Our daughter nodded and meekly smiled instead of launching into a tantrum that I thought would happen.

  "I killed Christmas," Carol said after a while of silence.

  "No! No, you didn't! It was just one ornament, Carol," Stella tells her.

  "I hurt Christmas."

  "No. Carol, did you do it on purpose?"

  "No—"

  "Then you didn't kill or hurt Christmas. Santa knows that was just an accident and he forgives you, don't worry."

  Carol immediately seems relieved and she smiles, "I love Christmas."

  "We do too," I say.

  "The tree is done!" Stella exclaims.

  "It went by too quickly," I remark.

  "But it was just right. Let's go sit on the couch."

  And so we all cuddle together on the couch, admiring the tree with shiny ornaments.

"It's pretty," Carol says.

"Just like you," I tell her.

She giggles and says, "Mommy, I'm not a tree!"

"That's right. You're an adorable little 5 year old with two awesome moms," Stella says.

"I'm lucky."

"We are all lucky," I say, pointing to Stella, Carol, and myself.

"I love our family," she tells us.

Carol smiles and holds on to both of us harder. Having moments like this with Carol reminds me of when I had these kinds of moments with my mom. I stopped blocking out the memories I had of her when we had Carol and on occasions, I'll be reminded of something she did.

  When her accident happened, I didn't know how to cope with it but I've realized that she would want me to remember her for her and not her death. So I've started doing that and it's helped me so much. It's been two decades since she died and it still saddens me that she isn't here but I'm able to cope with it.

  I'm not breaking windows or nearly setting houses on fire, I celebrate Christmas. For her, the past, the present, and the future.

  "Are you okay?" Carol asks me.

  "No. I'm better than okay, I feel great and that's because of you and your mom."

  "Mom! Mommy! You're the best moms I could ever ask for."

  "You're the best daughter we could ever ask for," Stella says.

  We wordlessly hug, and I think about the past, the present, and the future Christmases I have and will celebrate. Stella begins to sing and I find myself enjoying the holiday tune that she's singing.

I used to get annoyed by the carolers but now I'm in a group of carolers. I think that has been one of the biggest changes in me. Stella continues singing and Carol begins to add in her voice which makes me begin singing with them.

  I couldn't ask for a better way to spend my Christmas than right now with my wife and daughter. A dream that I didn't think would ever come possible, became possible and in the best way.

I couldn't ask for anything more.

The end.

Thanks for reading! I finally finished a Christmas story in the end of January!