Ari's Little Voice

Happy Baby

Aria POV
It's 10 a.m. I sit in the floor on top of my purple blankie, playing with my three monkey stuffies. They are going on an adventure to find gold! i giggle quietly to myself, making them talk telepathically. but some days are harder than others to keep my mind out of the past.. bad thoughts.. no good.

flashback
*i hear my mother and sister screaming from the living room but i stay in my hidey spot. i am terrified of getting found. and of my family being hurt but i'm frozen. i can't bring myself to go save them. so i just scrunch back to the wall as far as i can and curl up, whimpering. please be over soon.*

'Ding' goes my doorbell. i gently set down rosie (my monkey) and waddle to the door, peeking through the peephole, i see there is no one there. so i slowly open the door, careful and fearful.

*BANG, BANG, THUD. i try so hard to hold my screams in. i just know my family is dead now, and there isn't anything i can do about it.  i feel myself slipping into headspace, wanting so badly for someone to just hold and soothe me. but i try to fight it. i really really don't want this to make my little time, a bad time, with this memory soaked into it. just then there's footsteps and he's walking very slowly towards my room where i am. i cup both my hands over my mouth and squeeze my lamb stuffie, diamond. she's scared as well.*

its my package!! i squeal and drag it back inside, as i remember that's its a very heavy thing. i'm so so excited to see it. once i get it open i start jumping up and down and can barely continue to get it out of the box, but once i do i'm standing there in awe of it.
it's a beautiful baby crib for me that opens up on one side so i can climb in and out by myself. it's purple with dinosaurs and little white lace on the edges, and it looks so cute with the rest of my decorations/furniture in my room.
i had to throw all of my old things out so i wouldn't carry over the bad memories to my new life. also i died my hair, changed my name, and no longer speak, at all.

*the footsteps are very close now, so close i begin to see the shoes facing right towards me. i try to control my breathing so i'm not heard. the scary bad man sits on my bed... i'm confused. until he begins to speak.
"little girl, i know you are there. how about you come out, hm? "
is he speaking to me?
"or... i can make you come out, your choice. You have three seconds to decide.."
sadly, that makes me scramble because anything is better than being forced to do something, in my opinion. so i slowly crawl out, watching his feet which stay perfectly still. soon enough i'm out from under
the bed and standing between his knees, face to face because i'm so small. shaking.*

for dinner i decide to have something light, i'm not feeling too well, being trapped in my thoughts and all. i have a small bowl of mixed fruit and a grilled cheese sandwich cooked in butter, yummy. i sit at my little baby princess table with three stuffies, very satisfied, and sleepy.. hm. my eyes are starting to doze so as soon as i'm done eating i take my things and place them in my bed. then i walk over to my dresser where my small radio is and i put on some sleepy tunes, throw my pants in the dirty clothes, and crawl into my crib. out like a light.

*"listen to me sweetheart, you will never repeat what you saw here, what you heard, or what you think happened, understood? because if you do i swear on your life..." he didn't even have to finish his sentence. i know what came next. he would kill me too. and i had pretty high hopes of staying alive.
three weeks had passed since he left and i was still alone in my house. i hasn't called anyone for the bodies, food was running low, the mail was piling up, and the house was still wrecked from the bad man. i decided since i couldn't say or do anything, i would just run away. start all over. i took all the money from my moms purse, got the gun from the safe (not that i know how to use it) and packed some snacks for the road. im 14 at this time and i have no where to go and no means of traveling. so i walked for a week straight only sleeping when i could no longer walk. i didn't know where i was going but i knew eventually i'd find something, somewhere.*

i woke up sweating and panting, i'd been having the same dream for a long time now. three and a half years to be exact, and i didn't see it stopping anytime soon. it was mostly dreams of the bad mans face and him catching me again. i'm still so terrified and alone. i lived with someone named Lala that i met one night sleeping on a park bench long ago. since then she has given me her summer house and only visits when she comes to the beach down here. it's beautiful, just lonely.
the next morning i decide to go for a walk around the town. my friend let's me use her car, but i don't like it and i'd rather the fresh air anyways. three hours later i end up at a little shop called Kuzos. it's a baby store, maybe someone will think i'm shopping for a child.
i wander around the store, aimlessly just taking it all in, thinking of what to buy. i settle on a two pack of pacis, a new stuffie, three cuppies because i only have one, and a rattler!! i always wanted one. just a soft quiet one though. i walk to the checkout table and lay my stuff down, pretty proud of my choices, and i smile to myself.
"that'll be $27.64, ma'am"
i don't even look up to see the face that matches the voice, i just hand him the money and give a little nod
"have a nice day, little one"
what? i almost stop in my tracks but force myself to keep walking as i am still slightly scared of men in general. so i just leave, filled with interest.