The Peel

I Dance With the Asparagus Man

I pushed my short brown locks back from my forehead, I wasn't as pretty as the other girls. I put on my beat up black converse and tied a red flannel around my waist. I put on my 3,004 different bracelets on each wrist. They were all for different bands that I liked, like Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, VeggieTales, and Twenty One Pilots. I didn't like that basic "music" that always played on the radio, but I was just weird like that. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room.

"Arnold, pack up your stuff, they are going to be here soon."

I blinked my golden brown orbs and looked up at her in confusion. "Who's going to be here soon, Mom?"

My mom sighed, rolling her eyes at me and putting out her cigarette in her own eyeball. "Your new owners."

This is the story of how my mom sold me to the Boy Scouts of America.

                                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I am four feet three inches tall and I am made completely of rubber. I have no limbs, no eyes, and no empathy. I am immortal.

Knowing that much, and that much only, about myself for seven years straight only gave me more power. I rose constantly at daybreak, every day without a break, for exactly 6.3 of those years. I didn't want it to be the way it was, but it was the way it was and a simple being made of rubber couldn't do much about it. Sometimes I ate bread, because it rose like I did--yeast and beast make for the closest bond between friends. Of course, I didn't recognize that as a fact until you came into the story. And now it is your story to tell.