"Ariana what happened? First he's making you cry, then he's brags about your sex, he makes you cry again, you break up with him and then boom. You're here calling him babe on a fancy little date."
I bit my lip. "It's just..."
"It's just what? You'r...
I'm in my room, eating ice cream. My vagina was so sore. Because my mom worked overnight last night, she didn't know I wasn't home. I wanted to tell her what happened but I didn't know how. I wish she caught me sneaking in.
I was on Instagram and I saw a video of Zayn making out with a bunch of girls. I was pissed, but I also didn't care.
I was still hurt. I couldn't think about what happened. I still couldn't believe that it happened. I know that Zayn does really stupid things, but I never expected him to hurt me like that.
I had to go to school tomorrow and I had to face him. And Bryce. And Chase. And I had to pretend like nothing ever happened. No one knew but Justin and even then.
I felt the tears forming and I started crying again. I hate myself. Everything I do always turns on wrong.
I heard someone knock on my door. Probably my mom. I quickly wipe my tears.
"Yea?" "I'm going to the supermarket...would you like to come?" "Umm, no thanks. I have homework." "Okay sweetheart, bye." "Bye."
—
I look at myself in the mirror. I try to look as normal as possible.
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I decide to cover up today. I didn't feel comfortable wearing my legs or arms out today. I was gonna face Zayn and his friends today.
I grab my car keys and head outside, when I see another car pull into my driveway. Justin.
He rolls the windows down. "Hey, do you need a ride?" He asks. I bit my lip. "I was going to drive but since you're here already, sure." I say. I get in the passenger seat.
"Are you ready for today?" "Uhh, sure." "You know, you never really told me what happe-" "It doesn't matter," I quickly cut him off. Justin doesn't mention it again and we ride in silence.
He finally parks the car and I get out. "Thank you Justin." He closes his car door, "No problem." I see Zayn's car pull into the parking lot and park right next to Justin's. I gulp.
I think Justin sees how shaken up I am go he grabs my hand and walks me inside. "He's not gonna do anything," He whispers in my ear.
We walk into school and I see some people staring at ours hands. Shit. That didn't look right. I quickly pull away and Justin stares at me. "Sorry, I don't want people getting the wrong idea." He nods. "I'll see you first period?" I nod.
I head to my locker, getting my things for first period. I feel two arms lock around my waist. I feel someone kiss my head and then my cheek and whisper "Hey baby." Zayn, ugh.
I quickly break away. I don't know what to say. I grab my pencil case, close my locker and start to walk away but Zayn grabs my arm, pulling me back.
"What are you doing with Justin? Why did he hold your hand?" I open my hand to talk but I can't. I feel tears start to form in my eyes and I look down, I can't even look at Zayn in the face.
"Baby...are you scared? Baby please don't be scared. I'm sorry. I love you. I was drunk." I shake my head. He kisses my head again. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so so so sorry, I love you."
"I-I think you should go to class," I say quietly. He nods. "I love you, baby girl." He walks away and I let out a sob.
I can't go to class like this. I quickly make my way down the hall and into the girls locker room. I find an empty shower, close the curtain, sit down on the bench and start crying .
I hate myself. — It's the end of the day. I'm going to Justin's again, for the "project."
I close my locker and ... Zayn is standing there. "Hey Baby... can we talk?"
I shake my head.
"Why not?"
"Zayn. Stop there isn't anything to talk about."
"There's plenty to talk about."
"Zayn, I don't wanna be with you anymore."
He grabs my wrist and I tense, that's what he did before he assaulted me. "Don't say that. You don't mean that. It was a mistake. What I did was a mistake! I didn't do anything that bad. I fingered you for crying out loud. You didn't have that attitude when we nearly had sex on two occasions."
"It's not the same thing. Besides, you humiliated me in front of your teammates." "And you humiliated me when you nearly kissed Justin! I'm upset with how loud he is. "Okay well that, and you sexually assaulting me are two different things!" I say lowering me voice towards the end.
"Okay baby, we both fucked up. Let's just move on, Okay?" He's so ignorant. I hate him. He doesn't listen.
I snatch out of his grip. "Stop it Zayn! I don't love you anymore. I hate you Zayn. I hate you. You can't fix what you did to me so just stop. You took something away from me Zayn, you humiliated me and...I can't forgive you. So please just leave me alone." I could feel the tears following out of my eyes.
I think he said something but I didn't hear because I walked away. I went to the student parking lot and found my way to Justin's car.
"Are you Okay?" He asked. I wipe my tears, "Yea...just...just Zayn." He nods. —-
We decided to go to my house instead. We sit up on my bed watching the Spanish movie. I laugh as Rosita smacks Robert for something.
"What is even happening?" I ask. "Honestly, I have no idea." He answers. I put my head on his shoulder.
"You're heart is beating really fast," I note. He blushes.
We watch the movie until my door opens and my very surprised mother is behind it. I sit up. "Well who is this?" She asks.
"Mom, this is Justin. Justin, this is mom." Justin waves and my mother shoots him a look. "I don't think Zayn would approve but okay." I tense at his name.
"Good thing we aren't together anymore." My mother's eyes widen. "Oh what? Baby why? What happened!" She loved Zayn. Ugh.
"I don't wanna say." She gives me a look. "Okay well either way, I don't want you with a boy in your room alone. Come downstairs please."
I roll my eyes. She walks away. "You didn't tell her?" Justin asks. I shake my head.
