The lost chance

The Reason

It was the first day of highschool, I knew nobody, so I was very nervous. I met him that day. His name was Julian. He was my first friend there. He was very nice and polite. I hoped to see him every day after that. We became inseperable. For two years, we were friends. While that time, I had developed feelings for a guy named Essam. I never told him though. Then in secondary three, Julian told me something that shook me. He said he really liked me. That he had liked me for a very long time. I didn't answer him that day, I just ran a away. The rest of the week I avoided him at all costs. I felt guilty for not liking him back. I knew I liked him a little bit but not even close to how much he liked me. The next week, I was in class when all my friends came and asked me if it was true that Julian liked me. I told them the truth and that became the gossip of the week. When I went to ask Julian why he did it he told me that he was desperate and he really wanted a chance. That day I refused him. I'm still not sure to this day if that was the right decision. I don't know what happened to him but he became very cold and mean to me. We stopped talking and hanging out. I was very sad about it. Then, at the end of the year maybe a month before the end, he started bullying me. He was calling me names, insulting my ego, spilling my secrets... I felt betrayed... I never could hate him though. My friends protected me for the most part but half of the class joined him. I had a few suicidal thoughts and wondered what life would be like if I was dead. Then it stopped a few days before the end of the school year. The last day I went up to him. I asked this exact question... "Why did you hurt me, humiliate me, mock me...?"  All he told me that day was that he wanted to KILL me then KILL himself. At that time I thought he was joking. In all honesty, I'm still not sure if he was. The next year, when I came back I didn't see him for four months. I was kind of sad about it though. Then when I though I was getting over him. I saw him in a his glory, looked absolutely marvellous in my eyes. I finally realized that day that I did like him. But it was too late... I never talked to him after I realized it. I just watched him from a distance and wished I was there with him. I will get over here m one day but for now, he has my heart broken heart. I hope that one day he remembers me even though I have no idea what I would do. Just him talking to me would heal my broken heart.

Based on my story 💕