Little Thoughts

Bronze

A room glazed over with cheap fairy lights warm glow.
The boy I love sleeping next to me.
Life is so confusing and I can't tell who I need and don't.

My mind is at peace right now. I'm content and hopeful.
I hope I will never have to do another thing I don't want to, but chances are that will be the case.
Tonight I don't have to do anything but what I want.
I don't have to obey anyone's standards or rules.
I am coated in a brown-orange-yellow feeling.

I am fleece, I am wool; I am knit, and I am woven.
I am as simple as white walls surrounding me.
I am as complex as every other animate or inanimate entity.

I got goosebumps just thinking about planting a plum tree earlier today.
Something to watch grow, something to depend on. Something permanent and a staple.
I want permanence to consume my life someday.
The same permanence my grandparents have in their lives.

I can make something permanent all I've ever wanted. I change the paint on my walls every week if I wanted. I could buy land for an orchard of plum, apple, pear, or plain ol' sassafras trees.
I never want to wonder where I'll end up at this point.

I want to shine among the plums; I want to glow against the bright blue, sterling, or brilliant rose walls that line the interior of my forever home.
I want to dance down the halls and sing love songs to my stunning partner.

My happiness is not dependent on those plums, or those ever changing walls, or the assumption that I will find true love.
My happiness is dependent on the warm, lush moments of content, peaceful, powerful, positive thoughts. The more I smile, the more I breathe, the more everything glows around me. If only my mentality would wish of permanence forever.

I only wish that bronze could stay as a shallow layer, enveloping my brain to always know, "If I'm happy, I'll never have to leave. I'll never have to worry."