soulmate ☽ chuuves

04.

the following day, the thing she never believed would happen greeted her right there on the nightstand. yves noticed the small charm almost right away after opening her eyes. she was exhausted from packing boxes all night, organising furniture and somehow making a place for everything. she was a little bit possessive over what she had; whether it was an item or a person in her life. obviously it was a struggle to throw away anything - or anyone - she didn't need anymore. and so when this needed to be done, yves was obviously bitter.

it's been almost five years since what happened between her and an old friend, but she still went to sleep and woke up with the thought of guilt for pushing her away when they needed each other the most. they have not met ever since. yves often wondered how she could be doing.

and because of this, yves was a hundred percent sure the universe will punish her by not giving her a charm. she has already accepted this dark possibility, but that morning everything changed.

"what the.." she whispered in a sleepy voice. yves reached out for the silver thing that appeared to be the sign she's been waiting for.

she held it closer to her eyes to see what shape could it be. a penguin?

"what is this supposed to mean?" she was frustrated. these signs were supposed to lead you somewhere, give you a bit of an idea of your pair. now what is she supposed to do? go to antarctica? the zoo? "this is so stupid!"

yves put the charm back on the nighstand and went to the bathroom to quickly wash her face. when she looked in the mirror afterwards, it was like everything flashed before her eyes. all the mistakes she's done. letting her go.

♡♡♡

a chilly night in the city. yves and olivia walked happily down the busy streets, chatting, giggling. yves remembered those days as her last happy moments. she was truly filled with joy every time she was with olivia; something she didn't expect to happen.

ever since she was little, yves thought this whole soulmate tale is the best thing ever. she treasured stories about it so much, filled with anticipation to find hers one day. this mindset followed her growing up, and even after she grew up, she still didn't give up. however, as the years went by, her greed for her own soulmate grew stronger; she started feeling jealousy towards anyone who's got connected already. she wanted to live her own fairytale too, and so searched for it everywhere. the problem started when she found out she can just throw people away like trash without any backlash; if the person didn't turn out to be her soulmate, if she didn't get the sign she was waiting for, she cut them off and went to look for the next "victim". she always made sure they can't find her anymore, blocked them out completely. she already targeted the next nominee, and this time, it was the new girl in the neighboring house: olivia hye.

things started out like they always did with yves. she had plans, talks, expectations. already knew how to wrap anyone around her finger. she greeted olivia sweetly and even brought her gifts to welcome her in the new city. something between them started to develop.

olivia started to genuinely like her, she noticed herself slowly falling. but she didn't worry, there weren't any reasons to be worried, right? yves always treated her so special, so close, like no one before. it made her so surprised, she immediately found herself flying among the purple clouds of love. her world now consisted of yves only; everything else became background white noise.

yves started feeling something weird too. like she actually had a connection with the new girl. she thought there's only one answer; they must be soulmates. that would reason this whole new feeling. she became so sure that there was nothing to lose that yves finally let herself enjoy the moment. olivia showed her so much, it was like another world, somewhere above the clouds.

they were waiting. waiting for the sign to arrive and link them together forever. but there was nothing, for months. it only took yves one second of realization to fall from this dreamy feeling back to the cold reality.

and it hit really hard, especially when olivia got her sign but yves was left empty handed.

"you knew it, right? you wanted me to fall for you?" she shouted at olivia when she found the charm the other girl's been hiding from her; exactly because she knew yves would react this way. "this whole thing is bullshit. i'm not wasting any more time on this." she rushed to her room. she packed anything that she needed for a few days and decided to leave. deep down, she knew this wasn't olivia's fault; it was none of theirs. maybe, they just weren't destined for each other, and that's okay. however, yves was so tired of these games, so angry. she believed so much, felt like they had the potential; for what? nothing. olivia was connected to a whole another person, and she was left alone, again.

olivia tried to talk about this, calm her down. she promised to stay, even when she finds her real soulmate. she cried about how yves was the first person she ever found true peace in, how she felt like home to her. but yves let these cries go; she was already at the door, ready to leave.

"don't try to find me." she said one last time before rushing out the house. olivia stood there for minutes, not even being able to let her tears fall from the shock. she stared at the now closed door before falling to the floor and letting out the sob she was holding in until then. her thoughts, feelings all over the place, broken like million pieces of glass, just like they were thrown against the wall by yves herself. the only person she found warmth in disappeared so quickly, she didn't even have the time to say goodbye. why so suddenly? it felt like waking up in cold sweat from a nightmare. her sobs echoed on the four walls that seemed to get closer and closer to her, eventually crushing anything she ever felt. what was she supposed to be now? angry? upset? all she felt until now was love for yves.

for what she's done, yves slowly realised she should be mad at herself and not othes. perhaps, she doesn't even deserve her own match anymore. she felt as if she was a monster and didn't ever have the courage again to see olivia. she regretted her last words to her, felt so stupid for acting suddenly. was she even deserving of love anymore? she decided the answer was no, and accepted her faith. she won't get a soulmate. she ruined it all.

or at least, that's what she thought until that day.

♡♡♡

yves was worried. she had flashbacks of olivia, of the days that followed her leaving. she left the old city behind to forget about all the memories that haunted her there; the people she played over, olivia, how she still had belief when she lived there. and now, just as soon as she arrives, it continues to haunt her. right away. understandable; a new environment with lots of new people, maybe, this is where she needs to be looking. it's just weird.. like the universe has paved a path for her to follow that leads to this moment.

that afternoon, yves left her apartment to go and do some grocery shopping. as soon as she locked the door behind her, she noticed someone in the corridor.

"chuu?" she said as soon as she recognised the girl and remembered her name. yeah, the girl with the coffee!

"hi!" the girl radiated an unexplainably bright energy. yves liked it. she made her smile a little.

after the short interaction, they just turned around and went to do their thing. chuu went in her apartment and yves down the stairs. like two stars almost colliding.