Kim Jongin The Boy of Shadows

        He was the boy who lived alone in a dark world. Dancing with the shadows and breathing in time to the sound of the world's heartbeat. Bare feet press against cold tiles in a silent melody that breathes life into the surrounding silence. Flowing with the sound of music and letting the song consume him. Kim Jongin had always wanted just a simple, peaceful life. One where he could dance till dawn until his feet were sore and do the same thing all over again the next day. He often wondered about the inevitable, like the fact that all humans live knowing that their death will come one day unannounced. Maybe that's why every moment had to be appreciated in his eyes. To know that his existence was hardly recognized never bothered him. He came to peace with being just another face on this earth. Yes, to others who passed him on the street, it was a sad life but this was the only one he had, the one he tried to embrace. Smiles, laughter, joy, those things were foreign, something you do with friends or family. How was he suppose to do those things when he was all alone in the world? Jongin often told himself he didn't need those things and that he preferred things the way they were now but that was until one day he met a boy like him.

        A boy who was born from the shadows, or so he liked to believe. A boy whose blonde hair contrasted with the darkness hidden behind his eyes. For how was it possible that someone else like him existed out there? Silent but still always there, this boy never failed to surprise him. Although Jongin never knew he had these thoughts floating around in his sub consciousness, Oh Sehun was a boy that Jongin had always dreamt existed. Someone who could understand why only dance spoke to him. Why it was that he was only able to dance in the dark never seeing the light. Dancing with shadows and curtains closed. One day, Jongin sat on the floor of the dance studio in his home shocked when he found himself thinking absurd thoughts. Thoughts such as these things that normal people spoke of "best friends", maybe he had finally found his in Oh Sehun. He had been shocked when this same boy continued to change his hair color every couple of months. Jongin had almost twisted his ankle when Sehun had walked into his studio sporting rainbow colored streaks throughout his hair. He had said nothing but Sehun had already known what he was going to ask. That famous questions all humans wondered. The same question that Jongin wanted to ask the first time the blond dyed his hair.

        "Why?" Sehun breathed into the silence. Jongin looked up at him in shock hearing the boys voice for the first time again in months. Months had passed he thought and all he knew about this boy was his name. Then again maybe Jongin was afraid to know more about Sehun. After all, he was just like him, wasn't he? Sehun's voice reverberated off the walls of the stark white dance room. He turned to look at Jongin and simply looked away again. He walked to the curtains on the other side of the room and swiftly threw them open allowing the sunlight to stream in through the windows from the outside world. Something Jongin had met every night in his nightmares. He didn't even try to stop Sehun but he would think about that later. "We're different you see Jongin. Other people run from the shadows, fear them, cower in their presence. Us? We embrace them. They're our only family. We live in a simple world of black and white. Don't you ever get tired of it? The same stark walls, the same never changing expression on your face. My hair as stupid as it may seem is the only thing i am brave enough to change."  He couldn't even speak as he just stood there and looked into the rainbow haired boys eyes in shock. Jongin certainly didn't miss the tiny spark of light that flickered in his eyes as he spoke. "Kai." Once again Sehun's voice broke the silence. "I think I'll call you Kai." and with that he looked Kim Jongin in the face for the second time that day before smiling, a genuine smile. One that he felt light up the whole room. One that made him feel like maybe the open curtains behind this boy weren't such a bad thing. No, maybe the light wasn't something to be feared either. Maybe one day he could live alongside Oh Sehun in the light. In that moment he felt hope and warmth rise in his heart. Even after the rainbow hair colored boy was gone he stood still and all alone once again in the room surrounded by silence but this time it was different. This time the light warmed the coldness that he had always felt in his heart. It thawed him.

         "Kai" he said to himself as he shook his head and turned to look in the mirror only to see that he himself had somehow managed to create one of those same smiles on his face. Oh Sehun, the boy who gave him a name but didn't ask for his real one. "Am I happy?" he wondered to himself out loud slightly shocked by the sound of his own voice. He preferred letting his thoughts run free in his mind not in the air where others could hear. "Why would I be happy?" he whispered into the air. Sehun's words continued to swirl around in his head. "Don't you ever get tired of it?". Was he? Was he tired of the only thing that he had known his whole life? Would that be so bad? To wish for something different in his life? He had never exactly been the curious type but this time he allowed himself to think about whether the real world could be such a bad thing. Oh Sehun was certainly more familiar with the people who lived in the color but what about him? If he can't keep up with all the things the color, the outside world, had to offer? What would happen then? His hand clutched at his chest as a slight aching feeling started to swell in his heart. "No, Kim Jongin. Don't even think of such dangerous things" he muttered to himself. With those words, he turned on his music and danced till dusk and didn't stop until the next morning when his thoughts of the outside world had faded away and were replaced by the same dull silence he was used to.

        As he finally stopped, laid on the floor and looked at the ceiling, Sehun's voice popped into his head once again except this time the words had somehow changed on their own. To something only subconscious was aware that he wanted. "I am brave enough to change." Change. His breath caught in his chest and he felt like everything was spinning. He wanted change, and with that his whole shattered around him again for the second time in his life.

Okay so thank you to anyone that bothered to read this. I didn't actually intend to post this but I wanted to be active on my Wattpad. School just started for me so I probably won't have any time to write stories but if I have some time I'll try. Thank you so much ♡