Biadore - Can't manage without you

Leaving All Stars 2

Everything is being recorded
I'm sitting in a quiet room with Ru. It's complitely pink and it smells like a hundred different parfumes in here. It's Rupaul's room in the set of Rupaul's drag race and All Stars. Ru looks like himself. He's off drag. He's wearing a simple black blouse and some black, straight jeans.
We're sitting on a pink, kind of vintage sofa. Ru's looking at me worried.
I look like a mess. I'm wearing Bianca Del Rio merch shirt and my hair's all greacy and my eyes are red and puffy. I look terrible and I know it. I know I'm a better drag queen than I have been here. I have charm, uniquess, nerve and talent. I know Ru knows it too. He has to know it.

"Danny. What happened?" He asks me with his steady voice. He knows everything's not okay.
"I- I'm sorry, Rupaul. I just-"
"Daniel. We're friends. Please call me Andre. My friends and family use that name."
I look at him for a while and burst into tears. I hide my face with my hands. I hate how I look right now and Rupaul can't se me like this.
"Danny, why did you come to All Stars?" He asks with a calm voice. He takes my hands to his hands. "I mean I know why. I think you just need to hear it from you." He adds.
"I'm sorry for crying all the time." I gasp and I see Ru smiling his compassionate smile.
"Daniel. You know, and I have told you; emotions don't scare me."

I take a long breath and look at him eye-to-eye.
"I came here, because I'm confident. I think so much of myself. I thought I could handle this but you know what? I'm only 26 years old. I'm not actually as strong as I thought. I applied to All Stars because I wanted to win this. But I can't be here with everyone judgeing my every fucking move. I can't anymore. I was so happy on the ABCD tour so why did I come here? Everyone are right. I am dumb."

"You're not dumb, Danny. You're Adore Delano. You're an amazing drag queen and you can't be an idiot to be that. But why was All Stars so different than drag race?" He asks me and I know the answer damn well. I'm just not sure if I can share it to the world.
I take a deep breath and wishper out one word; "Roy."
"Roy?" He's not sure if he heard correctly. Just a few people knows about our special connection.
I give him the smallest, shy nod.
"Woah. I knew that Bianca helped you a lot on the show. But that much that you couldn't have maniged without him?" He says being genualy interested in my situation.
"It wasn't just that he helped me with things like getting my waist snatched or getting my tutu done, but he backed me up in everything that I did. He throwed some shade here and there but it was never to actually offend anyone. Well, not me. But everyone thinks that he's this shady ass bitch but he's just trying to be funny. And he is! But in actuality he is the most supportive person I have ever met. He always wanted to make sure that I was fine. You know I've never met a man who's made me feel quite so secure. Now I can't call him cause yall take our phones away and I just really want go call him and tell him that I lov- ... I mean he was my rock and I can't manage All Stars without Roy." After this there's a silence. The cameramen and a producer  behind the camera are just waiting for something to happen.
All of the sudden Rupaul gets up.
"I'll be right back, sweetie." Ru tells me and goes to the producer. He takes the black haired, tall woman to the side and they start talking about something. I can't hear a word they're saying but it's obvious that they're talking about me. Every once in a while they both look at me. Ru looking worried and the producer looking like she's kinda mad. That makes my eyes water. I don't want to dissapoint anyone.

"Can we please turn the camera off for a while?" Ru asks the cameramen as he walks towards me. I see the cameras turning off.
"Can I get a minute alone with Daniel?" He says and the producer nods and she and the cameramen walk away from the room.
"Danny I-" He starts but I interrupt him.
"Ru- Sorry, Andre. I can't do this. I don't think I belong here and I want to go back touring with Bianca and the other queens." I tell him and my eyes are filling with water.
"I know, Daniel. And you will be eliminated today but I will tell the viewers the whole story. Is that okay?" He wants nothing but happiness for me.
"Yes, Andre. Oh wait. Please don't tell everything about Roy. I mean you can say something but not everything, you know?"
"Yes. I know what you mean." He says and winks at me. That makes me let me out the smallest laugh. I'm so thankful for Ru. He's amazing.
"Thank you." I wipe away my tears. "Let's go eliminate me."