Biadore - Can't manage without you

In the hospital

Danny's POV

Worst hungover ever. I try to open my eyes but the room's too bright. Breathing feels weird for some reason.
I try to move my arm but suddenly I feel the worst pain I've ever felt. My head hurts, my throat hurts, my legs hurt.
The pain makes me groan. I try to open my eyes but get only one eye open.
"Danny? Daniel? It's okay, I'm here. Don'r try to talk yet." I hear a familiar voice right next to me. Someone's holding my hands and stroking my hair.
"Roy?" I try to wishper but something's blocking my voice.
"Hey! Nurse! He's waking up." Roy shouts to someone. There's more people in the room.
Suddenly I feel crazy pain in my throat. Someone's taking something from my throat.
"It's okay, Daniel. You were on a respirator and I'm taking it off." Someone taking the tube from my throat tells me.
The breathing apparatus is finally off and I can talk.
I'm able to open both of my eyes but the other one's blurry.
"Danny. It's me, Roy. You're in the hospital." I look at his beautiful face. His other hand's still stroking my hair. It makes me feel comfortable.
"How did I get here?" I ask as lodly as I can, which is not very loud because I'm tired and in pain.
"Well. First of all you had an alcohol poisoning, which is probably not news to you." Roy tells me.
"Oh.. I remember drinking some vodka yeah." I say. Speaking hurts but I try my best.
"Yeah well you had 3 bottles of clear vodka so yes you could say that you drank some vodka. Then that wasn't enough so you smoked some weed. Quite a lot actually so that wasn't good." Roy tells me.
"Really? Awh shit." I groan.
"Yup. Then you went ahead and bought lots of cocaine and heroin but you didn't have time to take all of that. You did take some of both which caused you a small overdose." Roy explains. He's trying to do it whitout showing any emotion but I can see that he's really fucking worried.
"Fuck. I'm sorry..." I try to say but he stops me.
"That's not all. So you were in drag this whole time, in the streets of Hollywood. You know what that usually means? That there's some homophobic people out there." I can hear his voice break when he says the last sentence and his eyes are tearing up. It's making me cry too.
"What has happened to me, Roy? Tell me." I wishper and place my both hands on his hand.
"Two men beat you up on the street and left you there." He's looking at me eye to eye. Crying. "I- um - found you there and you were litterally dying. I didn't know what to do so I called 911. They brought us here and they had to..." He takes a break from talking to wipe away his tears. I haven't ever seen him cry like this.
"They had to perform a small surgery because the guys that beat you up caused several inner bleeding in your liver." Roy explains to me. I can't believe this happened to me. Why?
"Do you have any kind of idea why you drank that heavily, got in drag and bought all that coke and heroin?" He asks me.
I start thinking about it. It couldn't have been just the stress of leaving All Stars. No. I remember getting a call from somewhere before starting drinking. A call from a general hospital. Oh no. I remember now.
"I got an upsetting call. Very upsetting. I always get to drag when I'm not feeling good because it makes me feel more confident. Then of course because I was sad I started drinking but I guess that wasn'g enough." So many tears start rolling down my cheeks.
"They called me from a hospital and told me that my mom died in a car crash." I explain.
"What? No no no no. Daniel! She's not dead! I just talked to her on the phone and she's on her way here!" Roy says to me. What? That doesn't make any sense.
"Really? Are you sure?" I have to make sure he's not just trying to make me feel better or some shit.
"Yes! I'm a 100 % sure. She'll be here in 30 minutes." He wipes away my tears and I start smiling. Still not knowing why I got that call but I don't even care anymore. My mom's alive, I'm alive and Roy's here with me.
"Are you tired? Do you wanna sleep?" He asks carlingly.
"Yeah.. Kinda." I answer him. To be honest I'm most tired I've ever been.
"We can leave Mr. Noriega alone now that we know that everything is well and the situation is steady." A red haired nurse tells Roy.
"Alright..." Roy says as the nurse leaves from the room.
"So I guess I'll go and let you sleep now." Roy says and smiles compassionately. He's about to leave but suddenly I grab his hand.
"No. Please stay. I need you." I let out before even thinking what I'm saying. I really want him to stay tho.
I'm holding on to his hand like it's the last thing I have left. I need him to stay beside me.
The nurse's gone. Roy looks around and then looks at me.
"Of course I'll stay." He smiles and I smile back. He has a chair next to my bed and he takes a seat.
My hand's still holding his and he doesn't let go of it. With his other hand he starts stroking my hair again. Best feeling ever. He's looking at my hair and I'm looking into his eyes. They're gorgeous. I'm very tired but after waking up I've started to remember stuff from the night. Everything's still blurry.
"Roy? I'm not remembering last night clearly... Could you help me figure out what was real and what wasn't." I say. My speaking's very quiet but the room is too so he can hear me talk.
"Yes of course. What's on your mind?" He says and looks at me.
"First of all... how did you know to come to Hollywood and to find me?" I ask.
"Oh, well that's easy. I saw you on All Stars and got worried so I drove here." He explains.
"Really? Just because of that?" I ask in surprise.
"Yes, of course. I got so worried over it. You were clearly not yourself. I care about your well being." Oh yeahh. The All Stars episode. I didn't even remember that.
"Oh. Shit.. Did they show our talk with Ru?" If he heard those things that I said about him, our friendsship might be doomed.
"Uhm... Yes. I -um -I really liked the things you were saying. I mean.. I would of felt the same thing if I was in All Stars whitout you." Wait.. So he would of wanted for me to be there? Is he saying that he missed me like I missed him?
"Oh... How did you know that I had bought all that cocaine and heroin?" That's the other thing I was wondering about.
"Well the bartender in the gay bar that you bought them had seen you and he was a fan so when he saw me, he told me everything." Roy explains me. It makes sense now.
My eyes are getting heavy and I'm about to fall asleep. Roy looks tired too and he must be. He has probably been just waiting here til I woke up.
"Come here." I wishper him lifting my blanket. The hospital beds aren't very large but it can fit me and Roy. I see Roy hesitating. I know he wants to sleep but he also wants go give me space. I get it. But I want him here.
"I'm lonely in this huge ass bed. Come on. I know you're tired." I laugh silently.
Roy smiles and nods. He climbs to my bed and puts his arm around me. I feel safe and protected. Nothing in the world can harm me now.
Only one more thing's in my mind. My eyes are already closed but I ask a question from him;
"Right before you found me... I think I had a dream. About you. About us talking. You were telling me things about your night. I couldn't see you but I heard every word. But it wasn't like you were talking to me. It seemed like you were talking to someone else. Or you thought you were." I tell him.
"Oh... That sounds strange. You sure it was just a dream though?" He asks with a calm voice.
"Wouldn't you know?" I ask letting out a tiny laugh.
"Maybe... Tell me more. What was I saying in the so called dream?" He asks and I think he's smiling even though I can't see his face cause my eyes are closed. I can hear the smile in his voice.
"Well. You were saying how we have been working together for a while and how we have kinda a big age diffrence. You were saying how much we spent time together so you kinda got used to me being around all the time but when I went to All Stars you missed me a lot. That you missed everything about me. Then you said how I'm gone now. How I'm probably dead. Then you started a sentence saying that if I'm gone you never got to tell me that you love-. At that time I started feeling this awful pain and I needed to ask your help. You never got to finish that sentence... This might be just a dream but you know best right? So was it really a dream, Roy?"

Roy's POV

What should I tell him. I mean he's basiclly asking me if I'm in love with him. Or something. What should I say? If I tell him what I feel he might not talk to me ever again. Fuuuuck. I need to answer something.
After thinking about it for a while I say;
"I don't think it was a dream, Danny. I did tell you those things when I thought you were someone else. I didn't even realise you were conscios of anything. It's true that I missed every bit of you for the time you were gone. And yes. I was starting a sentence there. I was about to say that if you're gone I won't be able to tell you that I..." I hear deep breaths from next to me. He has fallen asleep in my arms. I'm not surprised. I still decide to finish the sentence so I wishper: "...that I love you, Danny. Good night now." I give a little kiss to Danny's forhead. Close my eyes and fall asleep.