Natalie

Nine

"The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave"
________________

We stepped outside.

"Want me to walk you home?" Jay offered me.

"No, I can walk myself, thank you though." I answered him.

"Here," he said as he was handing me a piece of paper.

"What's this?" I asked him.

He smiled, "Check it."

I grinned while checking it,"Your number?" I questioned.

"Uh no, it's the creepy guy from the other shops number." he said playfully.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut it, Jay," I said laughing.

"But to be clear, friends." I told him.

"Friends. Yes I know." he smiled a bit but then it faded.

"I should get going," I told him.

"I never got your full name."

"Oh you trying to get to know me now?" I asked sarcastically.

"Friends get to know each other" he replied.
I looked down smiling then looked up.

"Natalie Everette." I finally said.

"What about you Jay?" I said while smiling.

"Jaycen Cerken."

"Sir Ken," I said chuckling.

"Good God," he said covering his eyes with his hand and smiling.

"Friends can make fun of each other." I said smiling.

He looked at me and smiled.

"Now I really should be going." I said to him.

"Wait," he said.

I paused and I looked at him.

"Can I call you to make plans? To hangout, of course." he asked.

I gulped. Nick wouldn't like that.

"I'll see. I- I'm not sure." I said nervously.

"Does it have something to do with the asshole that grabbed you like you're some kind of property at the party?" he asked while crossing his arms.

"I should be going." I replied quickly.

"Bye Jay."

"You know you deserve better than that piece of garbage." he finally said.

I didn't answer and kept my back towards him.

"I'll see you around Natalie."

I heard him walking away. I took a deep breath and then I began walking away towards my house.

«»

I got home and immediately just made myself something to eat.

Buzz

What? I thought.

"Who could be calling right now?" I asked myself.

I picked up.

"Hey Nata, it's Nick."

"Oh hey, aren't you working at the lab?"

"Yeah I just wanted to check in on you."

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." I told him.

"I'll be home earlier maybe so be ready." he told me.

"Okay." I said then I hung up.

That's weird. He never calls to check up on me. I thought.

I brushed it off my mind and kept preparing my food.

«»

"Hey baby." he said.

"Nick you're drunk." I told him.

"So? Let's have fun." he said as he began approaching me.

"Nicholas no!" I told him.

"Ugh, stop being so serious." he said in a drunken voice.

"Don't say no." he was trying to force himself on me.

"I said no!" I yelled as I pushed him off with everything I had and ran outside.

"Little bitch!" I heard him yell.

He's called me worse.

I walked over to a bench that was not far from our house and began crying.

I could cry for hours but that wasn't going to change anything.
I gathered all my strength and went back inside 30 minutes later.
I tried to be quiet, I hope he was asleep.

"Lily I'll go over tomorrow. My girlfriend just ran out on me. I need some company so I'll go tomorrow." I heard him say on the phone.

He was in the bathroom and the door wasn't shut so I could hear everything.

Lily huh? I thought to myself. I quietly tiptoed to the kitchen where I hope he wouldn't go. I was right.

He went upstairs and I stayed on the couch. Like always.

That was the first time I found out he was obviously seeing someone else while she knew that he had a girlfriend. Yet I was, I am, so hooked to him that I never said anything. I never did anything.
All I wanted, was his love.

Why don't you leave? Is what everyone asks me, well everyone who knows what's going on. The answer to that is, I can't.
He's taken over every part of me. He's taken over everything. My confidence. My freedom. Though he doesn't treat me right. I fell in love with that man. He was there when no one was. My head knows to go but my heart chooses to stay. He fell for me too.
Though it's easier to fall out of love than it is to fall in love.
I still love him. Even though he's given me every reason of why I shouldn't anymore.
He's broken me more than any person ever has.
He's damaged me.
But yet I choose to stay.
Stupid me.