Natalie

Nineteen

"You came into my life
Sent from above
When I lost all hope
You showed me love."
_________________

After the nurse finished checking on him and she left, he sat up.

"Dumbass! Lay back down!" Jacquie said freaking out.

"She's right!" I said as well.

"Which part? The dumbass or the lay down part?" he asked laughing softly.

"Lay down! Your wounds aren't even near healed! You got out of surgery two days ago Jaycen." I said in a lecturing tone.

"I'm fine tesoro." he said smiling then turning to Jacquie.

"I'm fine Jacquie, don't worry about me." he said reassuring her.

She took a deep breath, "For being the older one, you're stupid." She said as she crossed her arms.

"Jacquie look at me. I'm breathing. I'm alive." he said as he tugged her into his arms so he could hug her.

"Jaycen Cerken, if you ever scare me like that again, I swear to god-" she said taking a breath again.

He just hugged her tighter.

"I'm here. Don't worry." he said in a comforting tone.

They were still hugging and I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"Natalie." I heard Jay say.

"Yeah?" I replied quietly.

"Thanks for being here. You didn't need to be here." he told me as he let Jacquie go.

"I was there when you were in surgery. I didn't know it was you until a surgeon told me." I said.
"I freaked. I got suspended for a while because I ran into the operation room." I told them.

"Seriously?" they both said sounding shocked.

"Natalie, don't do that again." he said sounding disappointed.

"It scared me! You scared me!" I said back.

He got up and tried to walk towards me.

My eyes widened.

"Jaycen get back in that bed!" I said freaking out.

"Relax Natalie." he said as he still tried to approach me.

He couldn't walk straight and looked dizzy. Jacquie and I rushed to help him.

"Come on." I said as we put him back on the bed.

"Lay." I said.

"Nat-" he tried to say.

"You need rest. Jacquie said you're parents will be here soon." I told him.

He laid down and put his hand on his head.

"I'll be here when you wake up." I told him.

He held my hand for a brief second and then closed his eyes to rest.
I sighed.

"Call me when he wakes." I said to Jacquie.

"What's your number?" Jacquie asked as she took her phone out.

I proceeded to tell her my number. I gave one last glance at Jay and slightly smiled.

"See you soon Jacquie." I told her as I walked out the door.

«»

I got to the bus stop and waited. It was about 10 minutes later when it finally came.
When I got to Lucy's house, I immediately went up to shower, I needed to feel refreshed.
After I took a shower, I got a snack and sat on the couch to watch a movie.

"If I Stay" was the movie I put. I love that movie.

I've always wanted to learn how to play the cello because of Mia, but I can't play an instrument to save my life.
The ending was near, that's when Lucy entered.

"Nat?" she said sounding concerned.

"What?" I said pausing the movie.

"This was outside," she said as she handed me a box.

I took it and stared at it confused. It was just a box wrapped in brown paper. No name no nothing.
I took it to the table and began unwrapping it.
I got a knife to cut through the tape and that's when Lucy approached me.

"What is it?" she asked.

I pulled out CD's and picture after picture. Of Nick and I. I turned each picture around and there was a note on each and every one of them.

"You're the light on my darkest days." One of them said.

"Living without you is like living without air, hard to breathe." Another one said.

"I'll get the lighter." Lucy said as she began walking away

"No. It's fine," I told her.

I pulled out a CD. It was a copy of Monica's album, "The Boy Is Mine"
It had one one of our favorite songs on there.
"Angel Of Mine" I stared at it and the opened it. A note fell out when I did.

"You came into my life
Sent from above
When I lost all hope
You showed me love."

I sighed. I felt Lucy rub my back. She read the note as well.

"You showed him love all the time, but he only showed you love when he felt like it." she told me as she put her arm around my shoulder.

"I know you miss him. But Natalie, he's not worth all the tears you're going to shed." she told me in a comforting tone.

I looked at the disk again. Then I looked at her.

"Can I play it?" I asked her.

She looked at me hesitantly but then nodded.
She took it from me and put it into a stereo they have but rarely use.
Lucy knew the song so she skipped to that song.

-
(If you wish to follow along with the song in this part, play the video above)
-

The guitar strings began playing. My heart began racing and I began thinking of all the good memories. I stood still for a few seconds. Reminiscing. Remembering the good times with Nick. He would mouth the words to me because he knew he had a terrible voice. I would love it when he did that to me though. I found it cute and romantic.

"When I first saw you, I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of mine"

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I began crying. Letting everything out. Everything hit me at once. I miss him. I shouldn't after everything he's done but I miss him so damn much. It kept on playing and it just kept on hurting. I knew Lucy wanted to comfort me but she left me alone which was best, I would've just cried harder.
The lyrics kept hitting me.
Punching me.
All these feelings, memories coming back to me like a wave. A wave aiming straight at my heart, drowning it. I'm broken. Torn. And I don't know what to do.

"You came into my life
Sent from above"

I took a deep breath. He would always pick me up and mouth those lines to me.
He really did seem like he was my angel.
I thought he was.
I use to feel so safe in his arms.
Why is he doing this to me.
I need to hate you Nick.
I hate you for making me feel like this.