The Son of Coul

Homecoming

It was a Saturday. Coulson likes Saturays. He didn't normally whistle, but he decided to make an exception since he just came back from the dead. Plus, it was a Saturday.

He strode into Avengers Tower and looked around. Everything was tastefully done albiet expensive, just the way Tony liked it.

He strode into Avengers Tower and went over to the receptionist's desk, "Hello."

"Hello, do you have an appointment?"

"Yes, I'm Phillip Coulson, here to see Mr. Stark."

She pressed a blue tooth in her ear, "Phillip Coulson is here to see you, sir." A few moment later she removed her finger and said, "Sixteenth floor third door on the right."

"Thank you."

...

The receptionist pressed her blue tooth agian. "He's coming up."

"Good, we're ready."

"He's got a backpack with him that might contain a weapon. Be careful."

"Does he even look like Coulson?"

"Yes, he looks exactly like him, sounds like him too."

"What ever sick motherfucker that came up with this is going to pay."

...

Coulson openned the third door on the left and walked inside. Everyone was there. Hawkeye sat with his bow behind a couch, ready to shoot. Natasha sat calmly on a barstool, and Captian sat next to her, decked out in full stars 'n' stripes regalia with his shield at the ready. Tony stood in the center of the room. He had both of his hand blasters pionted at Coulson, and even Bruce was standing next to Captian. Only Thor was missing.

"Hello." said coulson calmly. He walked over to the counter and grabbed a donut and some coffee. He slid the pack off his back and on to the floor, and he plopped himself down on the couch next to Clint. He picked found the remote and turned on the t.v. to Super Nanny.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you.", snarled Clint.

"Because I'm your boss."

"You ARE NOT MY BOSS!"

"Easy does it, Clint, we need to find out who his and why he's here before we kill him." soothed Natasha.

Tony wasn't so calm, "I say we kill him, them ask questions.", he flipped open his mask and if Coulson hadn't known better, he would have thought that Tony was about to Hulk out.

"We can't just kill him.", said Bruce.

"Thank you.", said Coulson.

"We have to beat the shit out of him first."

"Not so thank you."

"Guys", said Captian,"We can't kill him, we can beat him up and interrogate him, but we can't kill him."

"Why not?", Natsaha asked sweetly.

"Because he might actually be Coulson."

"Thank you.", said Coulson, "I did not come back from the dead just to get killed all over agian."

Tony paled and pored himself a drink, Natasha and clint balked, Steve's expression didn't change, and Bruce did what he always did. He got pissed.

"Oh, okay, so we're just supposd to believe that COULSON CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD? We saw his coffin get lowered into the ground, we saw the footage of him getting stabbed by Loki, and I'M SURE AS HELL NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THIS SHIT!", Bruce's face was turning red-green and he was getting larger.

Coulson stood, his voice stern and soothing at the same time, "Calm yourself, Bruce, we don't want the other guy coming out in the middle of our little reunion, besides it's going to take alot more than one measly little demigod to stop me from coming back. Oh, and I thought Tony might have fun playing with this." He pulled Mjolnir out of his backpack.

"I-I what?", Tony stuttered, "For me? No."

"How did you get Mjolnir?", Captian asked.

Coulson grinned. "Spoils of war."

At this point Clint was seriously confused. First his favorite handler was dead. Then he wasn't."How did you come back?"

"I left."

"What? How?"

"There were these doors. They looked like they needed opening. It was pretty staight-forward from there."