until spring comes | bts

spring day

im unstable. why did i write this? also play the video as you read for the mooood. as if you need something more to make you cry :')

—

"when will spring come, namjoon-hyung?"

they would ask me countless times. most of the time, i would give them a tight-lipped smile and say 'soon.' but i was too sad for that today. you see, i was missing it, too.

so when the maknae sat beside me quietly, the both of us just staring at the windows that were constantly covered in snow, i couldn't make the smile i've grown to fake.

for a long time, we have stayed in this house, believing that spring will come someday.

it should. it promised.

it must. because when it left, it took a lot with it. the constant noise of laughter and mischief in the house, the smile that would brighten up our days and bring our doubts and sadness in hiding.

i stood up and walked over to where the yoongi was. he was the one who couldn't accept spring's disappearance. he detested the snow, sitting by the open door and fighting the cold. he was the one closest to spring—he loved spring. the heat from it was his lifeline; he lived off of the sunshine and the hope. now that it was gone he was nothing but dark, cold and faraway from the rest of us.

it's become hard to talk to him since then. we knew he was hurt, so hurt that it hurt him to see us and not see spring. we were brothers after all. we were supposed to be complete.

"it's cold. you should come inside and warm up," i said quietly, keeping a safe distance from him.

i didn't expect him to answer, i just wanted to check in on him and let him know we're worried. i looked far into the horizon, up to where my eyes could see through the raging snow storm outside. the cold seeped through the layers of my clothing and made its way to my chest. it closed in my heart and the pain was excruciating.

"it's always been cold after spring left."

i looked away after hearing how his voice broke, fighting tears in my own eyes. yoongi started sobbing quietly, until he hugged his knees and rocked back and forth, silently weeping.

unable to endure it anymore, i walked back into the cold house and locked myself in my room. i could never cry in front of them, i was the leader, i was supposed to be the strongest. i was the one to hold us all together.

"but how can i, when we aren't complete? How do I hold all of us when you're not here? Come back, hoseok. our hope. our spring."

the tears fell, and i wept. weeping as we wait; that's how we'll stay until spring comes.