I winced at his words. "I'm not Nathan." I closed my eyes tightly and pulled my wrists gently out of his clutch.
"Why?" He asked as we sat in the bench nearby.
"Because..." I puled the sleeves of my jacket down. "There are a lot of reasons." I teared up a little but blinked them away so he wouldn't notice.
"Name three." He took my hand inbetween his and rubbed his right hand on top of mine.
"Ok. One I left my mom when I was 16 because we didn't get along. We're a lot closer now but we're still a little broken. I told her I hated her and wished I never had her as a mom." I looked at Nathan.
"That's bad but it doesn't make you a bad person."
"Two. I got kicked out of one high school in twelfth grade for getting in a fight."
"Why did you get in a fight?" He wuestioned me squeezing my palm.
"Remember Ryan? He bullied him. I over heard him in the hallway tellin Ryan he was worthless and all these nasty things and Ryan just stood there depressed. So I yelled at him and he asked what I could do since I'm just a girl. And I said I didn't want to start anything so I walked away from them with Ryan."
"How did you get kicked out for that?" He was lost.
"I didn't. As we walked away he said that I already had hurt him enough with how I look so I turned around and said excuse me. He said yeah you heard me and I punched him in the face. He and his friends fought back. Nothing serious happened but I got kicked out cause I cursed out the teacher then."
"They deserved it. No one should be told those things. " He told me rubbing my thigh.
"And three." My voice cracked. I let out a sob. "I was told things like that and even worse. I self harmed and was sent to the hospital twice for nearly killing myself." I layed my head on his shoulder and he patted my head."
"Wh- what did you do?" He pulled me tight.
"The first time was in seventh grade when I was thirteen. I overdosed." He whipped away my tears.
"On accident?" He thought I meant like I took to many advil.
"No..." I could tell his heart sunk.
"I'm afraid to hear the answer but the second time?" Pushed up my sleeve licked my thumb. I rubbed off the makeup from my wrist and revealed a large scar.
"It went deeper then I thought it would. Almost died from loss of blood." He kissed my wrist and pulled me up and he stood too.
"Never do it again." He gave me a hug.
"But things get hard..." I wrapped my arms around his neck.
"But you have me now. There is no longer an excuse to hurt yourself." He picked me up and i picked my feet up. "Now I don't want to invite myself over but where do you live, we are going home." He winked.
"Follow me." We heald hands as we walked home. When we got home we sat on the couch. I ordered some chinese food and we watched Forrest Gump, one of my favorite movies of all time and talked. By ten o'clock Nathan had to go.
"Ok I have to go but what are you doing tomorrow around six?" I smiled and leaned against the wall by the door.
"I don't know I might go out with this cute british boy." I teased playfully. He put his hands on my hips and kissed me.
"Great see you at six and erm wear something nice." He winked.
"Oh you thought I meant you! No Max actually asked-" he face dropped but I could tell he was acting. "I'm kidding see you at six. I let him out the door and waved goodbye as he walked down the stairs towards the street. He tried to to hail a cab but failed. I walked over to him and waved flirtatiously at a driver- he pulled over immediately.
"Thanks." Nathan chuckled giving me one last, quick kiss.
"You're welcome." He sat in the cab and I watched him drive away.
