Citrus. Klance AU

Chapter 1

Surprise!! A new book :) I'm posting it on my birthday because I think that's cool.

Disclaimer: Lance's thoughts are, for the most part, incorrect. In this story, he has experienced psychological (as well as physical) abuse that lead to his judgement becoming clouded. He says things like he deserves the abuse and that he needs the abuser but that is not true. This is just Lance's perception of the situation. Please read with caution as this book, as a whole, is really heavy with abuse and anxiety.

"I can't do this anymore, Lance." It sounded so final. I stared at him with wide eyes, silently begging him to take back what he said. Was he going to break up with me for real that time? I needed him. I couldn't live without him and he never failed to remind me of that fact. He was standing so close to me that our chests were touching and I could feel his warm breath against my cheek. I had the undeniable urge to reach out, brush my fingertips against his cheek and beg him to never leave me. "Get out. I need space." I knew touching him would be a mistake. He needed time to cool down and I got that.

"But- But where do I go?" My voice was quivering and I was aware that it sounded pathetic. I was a fully grown adult and not a five-year-old. I should be strong with my words- confident- but, no, I sounded like a frightened child. Lotor was my everything and I couldn't risk losing him. I was nothing without him, as he reminded me on a day-to-day basis. My internal fear just came across very obviously externally.

"I don't give a shit. Wherever. Just don't come back until the morning. I- I need to think."

"Please don't leave me..."

"Just... go."

I opened my mouth to argue but decided against it. I didn't need a punishment, along with getting kicked out for a night. Arguing with Lotor wasn't allowed under any circumstance. I took my jacket from where it was hanging by the door before walking out into the cold air. I didn't even utter a farewell to Lotor because he had already slammed the door before I could even consider turning around.

It was a Thursday night in the middle of autumn so, naturally, by the time I got to the end of my road, I was shivering. I had no idea where I was going because I didn't have any friends or family who cared enough. Lotor had made me push them all away when we started dating. He said that he was the only person who I needed and who cared about me. I believed him.

I kicked a stray leaf up into the air, watching it fall back to the ground to be lost amongst the oranges and reds again. I really liked the way the leaves crunched beneath my boots and, in a way, it was calming. It was like some distorted lullaby that made me feel at ease. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. To stop a sob from rising in my throat, I closed my eyes and just focused.

What could I hear? Crunch. Beep. Tweet. Crunch. Crunch.

What could I see? Darkness. Colourful spots dancing around my eyelids to the music from the sun.

What could I feel? My denim jeans pockets against my numb hands. The thin material was the only thing protecting my hands from frostbite.

What could I smell? Not much. Vaguely coffee from the Starbucks that sat on the  corner of North Street. It was Lotor's favourite coffee shop so we were practically regulars. They knew our orders by heart. Chai tea lattes with cinnamon on top. Occasionally I felt adventurous and got a hot chocolate but Lotor never let me get marshmallows and cream. His excuse was that I needed to watch my figure and didn't need all that sugar.

I glanced up at the traffic light, eyes focusing on the colour red. I crossed, secretly missing the leaves beneath my feet. It was around eleven at night- I couldn't tell exactly because Lotor had my phone- and the streets were deserted. Not a single soul lingered; the quiet embraced me like a hug. Other than the sounds of traffic, it was peaceful. I didn't need to power through any awkward interactions which was a bonus. I ended up at a pub and the stench of alcohol hit me like the wave of a tsunami.

It made my nose wrinkle slightly but, still, I pushed the doors open. It was buzzing inside, the life contrasting the death of the streets. I strode up to the counter and sat down on one of the tall bar stools. It felt like a scene from a movie, so cheesy that I half expected the bartender to start washing the side and ask me what was bothering me. Deciding I would postpone thinking about the consequences until the very last moment, I ordered their strongest shot. My tanned hands wrapped around the small glass, I pressed it to my lips and I necked it all at once.

It was sharp and burned as it travelled down my throat but I liked it. The burn was refreshing against the numbness I had been feeling previously. Two shots. Three. Four. Someone sat beside me, their lips forming a smirk. He was really cute but that may have been the alcohol in my system speaking.

He had what looked like a mullet, his dark hair contrasting his pale, white skin. His grey eyes stood out and he was wearing a red jacket that suited him so perfectly that I wondered if it had been designed solely for him. "Are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see!" He exclaimed loudly and I found myself chuckling at what was just a crappy pick up line.

"No," I responded amidst my laughing fit. "I'm actually from Cuba."

"That's cute. Can I buy you a drink?"

Lotor wasn't with me to make up my mind for me. That meant I could say whatever I wanted and he would have no idea. Suddenly feeling rebellious, I nodded. "Go for it." Mullet-Man ordered us two more shots and the bartender pushed the two glasses towards us. Mullet-Man sounded like the name of a superhero but what would his power be? Drop dead gorgeous looks that literally made the enemy drop dead? That sounded appropriate.

"I'm Keith."

I downed my shot, gasping as I slammed the glass down against the counter. "Lance."

"Another?"

"Hell yeah. I need as many shots as I can get." Keith nodded and we took another shot. Another. Another.

I got drunk relatively fast. Keith was just as intoxicated as me, if not even more. I giggled as I attempted to stand up but instead fell into Keith's arms. "We should go home..." He mumbled, linking his arm with mine.

"I don't have anywhere to go."

"Are you serious? Come back with me."

"Okay." Maybe it was dumb to follow a random stranger back to their house at almost midnight (or whatever the time was) but drunk-me wasn't aware of that. I just followed Keith down a bunch of streets I hardly recognised as all the houses blurred together in my memory. The entire walk we were laughing about absolutely nothing and we were stumbling, just so our intoxicated states were obvious to the entire world.

As soon as he unlocked his door, I was shoved up against the wall with his lips pressed against mine. His hands were tangled in my hair whilst my arms were wrapped around his neck. He grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs which was unsurprisingly difficult, considering how fuzzy everything was. He separated the kiss for a second to take a deep breath before lightly pushing me down onto his mattress and kissing me again.