Citrus. Klance AU

Chapter 25

I thought I was better. I wasn't stupid enough to think I was cured completely but I thought I was well on my way. Then things crashed and hit rock bottom all over again.

I had just been cuddled up on the sofa, watching an action movie with Keith. One moment, we were focused on the screen and, the next, we were kissing. The bit in between was all hazy so I didn't know who initiated it. Things were getting heated as he pulled me onto his lap and started to run his hands over my chest. I had mine tangled up in his long hair and was pulling at it whilst we kissed.

When we parted, we were breathing heavily. Keith glanced at me for a moment and we both got up. He slipped his hands into mine and dragged me to his room, the movie abandoned. He pushed me down onto his bed so he was on top of me and something in me just flipped.

The eyes that had once been so soft became evil and they merged into Lotor's. I completely froze, unable to even push Keith off of me. My breathing was frantic and my mind was racing fast. I couldn't speak, move or even blink. Keith caught on and pushed himself off of me, eyeing me amidst my panic.

When I was no longer beneath his body, I found it in me to move. I brought my legs up to my chest and buried my head into my knees to make myself as small as possible. I was a trembling mess as tears burned my eyes.

I thought I was better. I thought panic attacks were a thing of the past. I thought I could handle another relationship. I thought. I thought. I thought.

"Lance!" Keith yelled and I flinched dramatically.

I couldn't help the words that slipped out of my mouth. "Please- Please don't punish me. I'll take it. I'll do it just- just please don't punish me!"

"Lance..." He made the mistake of touching my knee. Jolting back, I started to hyperventilate.

"Please," Breath. "Don't," Breath. "Hurt," Breath. "Me."

"I won't, Lance. You know I won't. I'm Keith and I am not Lotor, alright? I'll wait. We can wait until you're ready. Even if we have to wait for a while. I want you to be comfortable."

I could practically feel Lotor's touch running up my front. Hands everywhere. In places they shouldn't have been. I didn't want them to be there.

"Listen to me, you're safe. Nobody is going to hurt you, especially not me. You're in my apartment and I'm the only person here. I'm not going to do anything you don't consent to and I'm not going to punish you either."

His words were all fuzzy because of the static- that stupid static.

I scrunched my eyes shut and clasped my hands over my ears to fight that static. I wanted to listen to Keith; not that damn noise. "Can you tell me what you can see, love?"

Refusing to open my eyes, I murmured, "Black. Dots from the light."

"And hear?"

"Static. So much static. Make it go away-" A choked sob escaped my mouth. "I can hear you too."

"What can you smell?"

"Nothing. N-Nothing."

"Is it okay if I leave you for a second? I'll be really quick."

"Please don't leave me..."

"Two seconds, love. That's all."

"O-Okay." As Keith rushed out of the room, I had to remind myself that I trusted him. Keith wasn't going to come back and hurt me. I didn't know what he was doing but he wasn't going to hurt me and I knew that for sure.

"I'm here." I could hear him rustle so I peaked at him for a second. He had gotten that candle I had bought and a box of matches. I had completely forgotten I had even bought it.

He placed it down on the side and swiped the match against its box. It lit up and Keith leaned over, lighting the candle. He blew out the match and moved so he was lying beside me. He left a gap of about two centimetres between us which I appreciated. A lot.

It took a few silent moments for the scent to spread through the air but, once it was there, I felt much more relaxed. I uncurled myself from the ball and laid next to Keith so we were touching. Keith hesitantly wrapped an arm around me.

I buried my head into his chest, breathing in his scent. Citrus.

Maybe I wasn't completely cured- would I ever be? But that was okay. I had been through more than some could ever imagine but I was still alive to tell the tale. I had fought the battle and, at that point in time, I was winning. With a firm grip on my weapon, I had life right up against the wall. A few more hits and some perseverance and I was going to be crowned the winner. Soon, I'd be able to hold up a trophy that said I had done it. I had survived.

The end :)

Yes, I posted twice today but that was because this is the finale and I couldn't wait haha. I hope you enjoyed reading this angst fest! If you want more angst, go check out the other two books I'm uploading right now: I Just Want To Be Someone and Love, Loss and Everything in Between. Thank you so much for reading and I hope to see you in my next book!!