I like my eyes and my hair. To be honest, I don't think there is any eye color that is not beautiful.
I'm kinda proud of my intelligence and my Knowledge but I feel dumb anyway so many times.
I'm interested in a large variety of things and I mostly understand everyone's view.
I don't have any problem with my height.
Honestly, I got attached with that eyebrow trend. But I'm content with mine.
I still agree with most of these things but there was a time my eyebrows didn't look as good as they do now because of that trend, now they're more natural.
There's merely any prejudice that influenced me.
My skin is one of the things I don't want to accept. It's really dry. It's really getting on my nerves to use cream for my legs every morning to avoid the prickle caused by the cold. In addition, I have callused skin and other flaws which make me feel ugly.
I'm quite stabborn and I also get easily angry.
I have brachydactyly Type D - my thumbs are shorter (my nails are as wide as others are high and as high as others are wide). My left ring finger and the belonging toe are adnated higher or rather, the bone is shorter. People tend to stare on my foot which makes me uncomfortable.
I'm impatient and my thoughts divigate easily.
I have dark circles around my eyes as well - maybe I should get more sleep.
And I am really forgetful - one of the first things people get to know about me.
When I look at this list I feel like nothing really has changed but I know there are plenty differences from then to now.
First, I wanna write about events from 2017 and 2018.
I got my driving license which was quite a struggle for me because I was really tired in that time and I am also quite sensitive, so I got mad a lot at myself, I still do, when I drive and make small mistakes. I quit my piano lessons but kept on playing. I got a new camera and I experienced a lot with taking photos itself and also with editing them. I finished school with my A-levels and although I wish I could've done a little bit better, I am just really relieved I pushed myself through this stress, anxiety, depression and my growing hate for the school system. I got into a relationship and broke up again, during that time I got to know myself a bit better. I figured out I am panromantic and on the asexuality scale. I got more aware on my surroundings and I wanted to change things. I learned a new language. I started stretching regularly. I pushed myself into situations in which I was unsure about the outcome and I'm glad I did because most times, the outcome is not as bad as I imagine it to be. I visited an Internet friend in another country. I miss her. I meet my friends more often, I have a lot of deep talks which help my creativity.
Second, I wanna mention some things I like about myself, that weren't mentioned previously.
I usually try to find multiple solutions. I try to take better care of myself. I force myself to do phone calls when it's for the greater good e.g. getting an internship. I am able to think rational and objective and imagine three dimensional objects. I try to see the positive in the bad. I improved my sleeping rhythm. I talk about my emotions.
Third, things I am not happy about yet.
I hate certain noises, chewing for example, loud noises. But I can't change that, at least there's no way I know about. My condition is bad but I rather miss out on a walk instead of passing out. I feel unmotivated, uncreative, depressed, unable to do anything productive, unable to confront social situations a lot. It makes me feel bad about myself, not doing anything or not doing the right things, whatever they may be.
All in all, you may not see it, but I matured, I can still be a kid and fun to be around though.
And when I say 'you', I include myself, because it is myself I am writing this for.
I improved in a lot of ways but I still have a far way to go. See you in another two years.
